half way there and then.....

Today as we got back from our daily market week , our neighbour from downstairs told us this , "Better go back to your country ,this is not your country." Okay , I thought someone must have gotten up from the wrong side of the bed. Anyway I found out what he meant ... okay from here I pretty much can guess that you know it too.

See when I was growing up , my teachers never once said any snide remarks to any of the students of my school and the friends that I went to school with , were so united . We were friends , played togehter and our parents never stopped us .


With time , we lost touch however we found each other again. What I am trying to say is , if we are to be 1 Malaysia it has to go all the way and not half way when everyone knows that the day for this 1 Malaysia is next month . All I can do is hope and pray that each party or whoever is involved will come forward, apologize and never do it again .


I pray that we have peace and harmony like what it used to be . I remember one time in the papers that tourits were so amazed by our country . We have so many ethnic groups , our colours are different but I am sure that the blood that flows in us are the same .

i dont' get it or i do ?

Today was not one of my best days for me . Bummer !! Right , I mean I always make sure that I have a good time in school today . I actually did have a good time , infact, I was having a whale of a good time .. till someone confronted me with something ..

Words were exchanged but I was not angry , I kept my cool and I expected that someone was far more understanding than I was . I have tolerated all I could. I don't show others what is bugging me and I try to do my best to please others and when I can't , I get stares and some may not agree with my decisions .


One thing I learned for sure is , when in school , forget what is in the house and when at home , forget what is in the school. I used to feel guilty when I first learned how to say NO .I could not concentrate on what I was doing and kept wondering if I made the right decision . But now I don't anymore. I can say NO and not feel guily . Now, is this because I am growing up ? Or is it because of the position that I am in now feels like second skin?


I do not know all of the answers but I am trying to understand human behaviour patterns ... One minutes they are okay and the next they are not.

So , I think I would just go and have some spring rolls and just forget about everything .

Lady Gagak Malaysia

THis cute thing happened today when I was in my tuition class . Today was a pretty slow day and I guess it's due to the fasting month and manybe the kids could not wake up ..

I had 2 boys today in class and I knew it was going to be a long day .. see I need the girls to come in as well so that I would not feel sleepy ... okay another lame excuse .So after half an hour,3 girls came . I was spared ..



One of the girls came in with a pair of aviator sunglasses with a white frame.She sellteld down and began her work .Very steadily , she put on her aviator sunglasses on and she looked like a superstar......



Casually I asked her , 'Hey, you macam superstar ah !!. "Tak la teacher , kakak saya kata saya ni macam Lady Gagak !!.

Well , that is a nice way of putting it .. Lady Gagak ...indeed .

Then , I told her this ,'Nadhira , bulan puasa kena tutup aurat tau , kan bulan puasa ".

This is what she told me , "Ala , teacher tok sah lah jadi uztazah boleh tak ?'.

I was just observing her and this little girl just wanted to be a fashionista and she just wnated to let her hair down . I admire her stand for it .

Tired

Lately I have been very tired .. it's pretty normal for a principal to go through tiredness. I think the reason is,being tired of other people's attitude towards life ,work you name it, I mean why ? I know that at times, I am tired of myself being pushed to a corner and there is nothing that I can do about it . But I can , I can stand up for what I truly beleive in and make that change .



We are worth more then this , This I mean, to do what you are set out to do or be. And along the wa,y comes this set of people who steamroll thier way to get what they want and usually they get it successfully . At times , I really feel low to a point ,I tell myself why should I even bother or try . When we do try it was not worth that shot and then someone turns around and tells you that you are worth just Rm 3 !!


So why bother , next step , take a stand , quit if you must but don't ever give up . Start over again with something new in mind , move forward and see where it leads you to.

Teacher , can I eat my bread now ?

It has been going on for some time , my student H knows when to push and test me .. he will choose the perfect timing to test me to the limits . Usually it's going home time or when I am so busy with a parent that he tries to test me .

I cannot help it , they need my attention and since I am the class teacher of course they have to ask me .H is quite special , he loves his food and at times you can find him liking his bowl and it's during that time , I would tell him this . 'Bo, kristang se jenti ne'. And he would go , 'Teacher, what did you just say?'. Hmmmmm in return I would ask him to go ask his mum .


He tests me each time when a teacher comes to my class to ask for something. He would talk and ask loudly and directly , to which I would tell himm to sit . But I kinda miss him , if he's not in class. But do I tell him that ? No.

I am so proud

Each time when the time comes for me to write cheques for my teachers , I flip up . I have spoilt more that 10 cheques.I feel so sad as I do really , really try and I still make mistakes .But my boss is understanding you see , She forgives and reminds me very gently to take my time and write . And for that I am grateful to her for being kind and understanding .


Today, as the priest lifted up the host in church , I prayed fervently and told the Lord to be my guide and guide my hand as I write those cheques . After dinner , I went into my room and got down to writing but before everything or anything else, I blessed myself and said quietly to God that , I want this to turn out right and with no mistakes .

.. I began and soon enough I was done . No mistakes, all is good.Now who says that God never listens to you ? He just did , listen to me . I am so thankful and tonight I will sleep peacefully .... Amen .

Puasa

The cutest thing about my students are they have been puasaing for the past four days ... they are so good . So during break time , they will wait outside the office area untill the rest of thier friends have finished eating . I admire their strength . And some would say that when they puasa they will get blessings in return .


Yesterday , I got the whole class to contribute their energy towards a huge Jalur Gemilang. It turned out beautiful and the four year old made palm prints of their own hand and with that , it turned out to be a very beautiful collage and when it was done , I could see the semangat Kemerdekaan already taking shape . Not only in thier art but also in their hearts .... as I was busy with my kids in class ..Pras came in...


Pras : Tr Audra , I don't know what to do with my V Horng la ..
Me : Why ?
Pras : You see ah , I told my muslim children to sit in the den because they puasa
and he insisted that he also puasa and he must sit out also . I kept telling
him , but he kept on crying and crying la ..

YOu know I really felt what Pras was going through but I just sat there and laughed , and Pras was like .... bengang . With me or V Horng I do not know ....


As far as I amconcerned , kids are kids , innocent but dangerous at the same time !!

Time To Change

Most people don't like any changes made in thier lives and I simply cannot blame them . A friend calls me up today and say that she is in the saloon and she, by tomorrow , will have a new new hairstyle and at the end of our conversation she tells me that it's time to change ..

I totally agree with her . Many of you who have come to know me over the years would definately notice that I have had the same hairstyle since I was in Form 1 yup a pony tail neatly tied up and pulled back.


I do feel really tired with it and to make matters worse God has given me two hair types to which at times I just feel like screaming but I can't because this is God's gift to me and I must say the only thing that can work for me is to go for rebonding .. I have done it a couple of times and the time it takes to rebond my whole head was just too much for me . However the good news is I am willing to go for it once again .. it's time for a change.


I remember reading somewhere that change comes when we allow it to and it must come from within us and say , truly say ,that we welcome this change .. good or bad .

Some of us spend many a days working and toiling and we forget ourselves so , today .. it's not too late , I want to make that change and it will begin with me and from within me . My call and my move no fuss ... just me and THAT change .I really have a good feeling about this and I need to test myself with this change and see how far I can go .

so very the malas and loads more to it

I have been sick and all I did was sleep and yes I prayed to the lord and told him that I only need to get sick on a Friday so that I do not have to take an mc and also I do not need to ask my teachers to take over my class for me.... it has been this way for the longest time .


So what is this malas that I am talking about ? I have a story book to complete and to this very day I have not finished reading it . Why ? Because , and so that if I were to read the book slowly then I could take my time to finish the book and in between, look out for other interesting hobbies for me to do .. That is multi tasking and it's an excuse to waste precious time..


Like this morning we just woke up and made a batch of cup cakes plus icing and now , for the coming weekend , we have decided to bake a cake and ... fondant icing will be the main topping ... hmmmm...

Then , just a few days ago , we took the kids for a trip , it went so well that I felt such joy .. joy oh joy .... and now what comes to my mind is .. BAGUS solution center and LMS in BRP .. baking , baking and baking .. now why am I suddenly into baking ?


Forget that , today and tonight I plan to sleep well and snore so please forgive me if I happen to snore loudly .. Tomorrow is a new day . Let's see what takes place ...

Reading Cheatin

Most of my kids hate to read .. the thing is they know and understands how the assignments goes but they just hate to read .. Why ? Because I am boring to them and also the books are boring .. hey I am never boring to my students , in fact , they love me to bits !!!!!!!!


Reading becomes bored to a child because the teacher does not cary out the lesson well and also it can be many things .. instead of blaming the teacher the whole time , kids also plays a role to this .. some of them comes from families who does not like to read , does not know how to read or some would say they have busy parents who are working 247 and that these parents have no time to read to them .


I remember when I was growing up , my mum would read to me and she would tell me stories and it got to a point that my sister and I not only thirst for reading , each year and every single day , we would beg our parents to buy us books to read .

My mum does not like me to read because ;

When I read I am in my own element ,
When I read I do not have to stop to drink , eat or pee.
When I read I do not have to have a daughter and mother conversations .
I only see books and not humans no matter how handsome the guy is !!!
When I read I forget everything .. that includes her and that is a no no !!


However , I do dream that some day I would own a little book store and you can find me in own little corner reading , reading and doing more reading ..

So what do I tell CCT ?

Well , tomorrow is another day so let's see if I can get her to read ......