Sunday, November 21, 2010

marriage..and love

i do not what is like being married to someone .. all i know and understand is , between the ages of ..let's say 25 right up to 30 . it's a must for every boy or girl to get married ... it's part of life ..


but , it does not work that Way .. just look at me ... when my sister got married at the age of 24 . confidently i told myself that when i reach the happening age of 24 , it will be my turn to find a soul mate and tie the knot .. sadly it not work for me that way .. after what .. say 14 years , i am still waiting for that moment to come and i am still single .. so who do i blame ?


do i blame everyone around me ? or just me ? .. like the girl from China .. said recently . i must marry myself and love myself before i can fall in love to marry ... .. how nice .. a good statement though .. so how many of us can stand up and say .. .. i must love myself ....



the reason i cannot love a person is because not only love is universal, love has to begin with me .. like Jesus love for us is universal .... a whole lot of love and his love for us is like a huge circle and no one can take that love away from us ...

so like today , i was reading an article about marriages and soul mate .. half of the article sounded good but three quarters into it ..... i left the page .. and you see this is my attitude always thinking that i know more .... i have a lot to learn about marriages and being a soul mate to that one person only .....

what am i going to t about it ....? i should say that i would begin to love myself first before i enter into the next phase ....

let it begin with me by saying this .. i am going to love myself first like it or not .....

selfishness .. through my eyes

the only people who are selfish are the fish monger who sells fish in the market !!!


that is not the point .. selfishness is a talent and you a whole amount of it .... including me and the fish monger in the market!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it is normal to be selfish .. is it an emotion or a habit formed even before we pop out from our mother's womb .... i am not making any sense of it .. why do we become selfish ?


maybe you got hurt along the way or your sister or brother was selfish towards you and it went on for awhile and then it was payback time.. how about if we payed it back with kindness ... just forget about being selfish ......


i don't understand .... people are taught differently .. unlike you or me .. it matters a lot to me because i was not brought up that way .. selfish in sharing a toy when i was a little girl .... yes but it goes away as you get older .. perhaps when you understand better , maturity enters in ....

so then ,what is the true art of selfishness ? i cannot answer it for you but what i can do is .. to reflect upon my life quietly and then only will i find or seek the answer ....

through selfishness comes great strides in self worth and as we move along and change it in us , we can become one .... with Jesus anything is possible ..

virtual money and it's faithfullness

well i am a sucker for it .. i am hooked but not in bad way .. you see , some friends and i have been playing online games in face book , and it got to the point of no return .. i should say that or not ..

at first it was just to pass my time ... alright, never mind just play the game for the sake of playing it .. then phase two ; it got to another level where we were buying , selling and buying and buying and selling all at the same time !!


this gets better .. we'd get to work and group up just so we could discuss our latest findings .. treasures , gifts , presents you name it ..then one sad day , that was the day i was so sad . i could not log into my farm , siap siap .. they helped out ....harvesting .. planting the works and if anyone of us were just too busy with work and assignments , we'd help out .. it was fun but i still could not log into my farm .... sad again ..



after about a week , i tried to get into my farm and i did it , i was like a kid who had a bag of treats .. what was then it's all in the game , has now become ,we're back in the game .. i felt that my life was complete.. no one understood us as to why we were so into this game not even our families .. all we knew was , go to work .. give the kids homework , teach ...do more work and then rush home to our farms .....


soon, we promoted ourselves to another game .. millionaire city ...i was a bit apprehensive towards this game but after some coaxing from my dua sekawan , we are now worth millions and the next best part is .. the money are all virtual but we still feel so sayang to waste our money to buy more property !!!!!

at a corner , I'd go , 'jeez , it's only a game how come'!see, you and me both know that but .... in all fairness to the game and to the gamers out there it's like waste not want not....

we cannot simply explain to you why , how , or how come ... oh , i say it like it is .... we are so into the game but we're not hooked on it .. we can stop anytime ....


and so the story goes , we are having a whale of a time till i go for a short break .. well , never fear , it will be taken care of I'd say ..... cheerio till then ..