Faith

For the past few days, I felt that my faith has been wavered . I was thrown off course and I felt totally lost . It was because of the crossroads which lead to my life. I felt that I was standing alone and I could not find the key to unlock my soul. I was confused and headed nowhere. I let darkness overcome me and I could not see the light . Everything felt heavy. There was no way out. I felt like banging my head against the wall . The word hopeless comes to mind. The only thing that I knew how to do was pray. I asked GOD to intervene and help me to be a better listener and be more observant to what I am doing . No, I am not hopeless. I am sure there are millions out there who felt just like me . Now, I will come clean and tell the truth . I started my new job just 4 days ago and I wanted to show that I could handle it but each time I tired, I failed . Maybe I was trying too hard and I was not paying attention to what was being said or to what I was doing . I felt very nervous at work but I hung on . Then, I stopped and thought for a moment. I mean I was in the teaching line for a long time, and now after so many years, I have decided to work in an office. So to make myself feel better, I should give myself time to adjust to everything that is new to me. Maybe I am just trying too hard to fit in. There are many reasons which contributes to the way I was feeling . Each day, I prayed that I will not flip up. Are we not humans after all ? Are we not suppose to make mistakes ? I guess, Jesus made a mistake or two when he was young, but it was not a mistake to be hung on the cross and to die for us. I guess what I face is just part of life but what Jesus had to endure was far worse than what I am going through. There are no nails knocked into the palms of my hands and feet, but he had. There is no crown of thorns upon my head , but he had. I had everything easy but he was made to suffer and die , that hurt . So, for the days that are to come, I will try my best and remember what Jesus went through for, my savior would not want me to wallow in self pity, but to rise from the deep end to walk and follow in HIS footsteps with faith.