Nervous

This is it . I tell you boy, have I been so nervous . I prayed for this day would never come . It has arrived .. 8 days ago and mind you , I was too nervous to even blog . I panicked . I took a deep breath and told myself that I can do this .

So , what have I learned for the past 8 days ? I learned how to count , write vouchers , talk to parents , handled difficult parents and the list goes on .

At times , I am so afraid and I find myself shivering ..but that's normal according to some . Some even said said that it's like riding a bike ... Hah !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is just so much to do .... How ?

So I decided to get organized , eventhough my class looks like a hurricane went through .. I am hanging on .... then , I have people counting on me , decisions to make and take . Why ? Well it's because I am the choosen one .....

It's a lot to bear but i will hang on .....

This Christmas

With the tree up and all , I have not had a breather . Not because we were so busy baking it was me working 247 in school and it has only been 8 days .. straight days .. I really need space .. aiyo , baru 8 hari into the job ...

Anyway as usual everything in my life should go with a prayer .. even when I am engaged with a parent , I still take time to ask God to gouide me . So far he has doen a good job and seriously I should give HIM a clap ..


So this year will be Seeking Jesus Through The Family ... it's not outdated yet ( the tag line ) however , we have come to a point that this year is for the family or should I say familia . Thing is we always celebrate with others , where we invite friends over . We were thinking .. why not for this year and the years to come , let us celebrate within the family .

I guess it would be more meaningful . Just us , talk , laugh and enjoy the celebration and the season as a family .

Why ?

I was wondering and pondering as to why I have this feeling in my heart .. like a tug that will not go away . I mean I am never quick to judge .. but I just can't seem to figure out this person . I try hard and I asked Jesus to let me see him in others but for this one person ,it's not working at all .


I try , I say please , let me see you in others .. In others I can but why not this person ? I think I am trying too hard . I should let it go and let the feeling of being able to talk to this person comes naturally .

No , it's not about hate . Nothing about that at all . Why am I so impossible ? Christmas is just around the corner , should i try again to be humble ? I just don't know the answer . Perhaps only time will tell .

HATE is a little seed that stays inside you . It eats you a little by little and then whole however ,LOVE is universal , when it stays in you , it will overcome HATE and then we will be WHOLE again .

The fIRST sTEP

Today was my first step .... no , actually it was yesterday .. so yesterday that I felt quite nervous .. Yesterday was my first step into running the school and it's operation ..It took me awile to sink in what I was going through ..

I seriously could not have done it without all those beautiful angels around me . One angel in particular is leavng me for good and she is going to France ... Gosh , it was just like yesterday when she told us of her plans and there I was thinking , it's okay because we have a long way to go ... there will be months before December finally pops up and it's here now and I just don't want it to be here but I cannot help it at all .


With all of the sleepless night just thinking of handling all of the oprations .. made me very nervous .. but I prayed that today and everyday will be okay for all of us ... and to my angel .... thank you for your kindness ... like I say it's a rare gift .

I already miss you eventhough your flight to France will be on Friday .. How come all the good people have to go away ..


I guess it's okay it's either we all will visit her in France or we will just wait for her to come ... home.

Finally , my first steps have been easy , and today and for all of the days , I promise to be a good principal , a friend , an enemy , a listener and above all a friend who listens ....

Phoneme Awareness ..or Teaching Awareness

That was where I spent my 10 long days to begin with .. Well I am such a kaypoh and I just can't sit still .. Actually I signed up for the SEED Programme , organized by the Scholastic people and I know for a fact that this will definately be a boring post , but who cares anyway right ?

As long as I blog .. So let me begin from the beginning , we received the training brochure early and somewhere and I actually forgot ... but never mind .. I was telling a friend of mine how good it would be if I just signed up for the SEED Programme for 10 whole days and at the end of this block training , I will receive a certificate .


My friend .. agreed to go with me . God bless her . Because I was actually lonely and I hate to be alone in a room full of other stranger teachers . At this point we still do not know the meaning of the SEED programme but we went anyway ....
We talked about it and we were saying to each other that this might just be for us because we felt a bit lagged .... so maybe .. just maybe it would turn out to be a refreshers course or something and yes we would get to pick out some usefull tips for the class ..

As on day one ,as we got there , .. we were so rajin ... we parked the cars at the KTM Sungai Buloh and made our way towards Central K.L. For me it was like one huge lesson in life as I have never used that mode of transport .

I was excited , new journey and all .. even in the rain , we rolled up our jeans , bought the ticket just to get there .. day one finally seeped into day five and I tell you , I hit the sack like a log . It was a toll on both of us ..

We hung on .. we learned , we processed every data that we could into the brain . It was so fine until.............................

We noticed that there were these group of people , you see they were so smart .. they get in at 9 am .. mark the attendance for the day ... stay up to 11 am and then after lunch , you just don't see them .. one had the nerve to even go back halfway during a group presentation and they just went ....

I mean , we were like , come on , we come as far as Shah Alam , in the rain , not a minute late , always on time , ever ready to learn and here ,we get this ? .... so with this kind of attitude .... okay I do not have to say more ...

Consider this ;

Quality teachers , quality teaching , quality time .

As far as I am concerned I want to be a quality , teacher , to teach with quality and use quality time to teach... okay I am rambling on ..... again another question to ponder ;

Would I hire teachers who do not possses any of what I have just mentioned ?

The answer to that will be ; NOPE , in a hearbeat ...

And NOPE begins with the letter N and the phonic sound for the letter N is nnnnnn . Okay now you try to say it nnnnnnnnnnn , nnnnnn , NOPE .. see you're getting it right ... now let's try to segment the sound .. N/O/P/E .

Do you know other words that begin with the letter N , ...nnnnn .

Very good .

What is SEED .. it is simply . Scholastic Early English Develpoment .. see we are good ....

From the seed , it grows into a beautiful plant with buds and flowers and strong roots .. beautiful .

i dont care but i'd be lying ..

I don't care anymore is what I tell myself . It's hurting to hear from others about you and I don't even know . I don't care now . We know so little and yet we are related . I just don't care anymore .... yeah call it emo but it's what I go through when I hear others speak of you and I never knew it .

It hurts that we are close and yet so far apart . I don't care and I don't wanna try hard . I will let it be ... it's not that I don't respect you . You mean a lot to me . It's okay Ijust don't care . Not even a meaningful conversation and there I go and spoil it all . Enough said , I don't care ..

Why ? Has it been so , tell me , why ?

What happen ? All I can say is it's me and not you . It's just pain hard .. Is it that I don't understand ? Or perhaps I am just shallow for you .. Jealous ? Never ..

Okay , I will lay off , I will keep quiet ... Just be true to yourself and express yourself .

Quiet , quiet .Shhhh , Shhh

Quiet , quiet shhhh... shhhhh !!!!!!!!
It's very quiet .
No more screaming;
No more yells;
No more 'I hate yous"
All is very quiet .

Quiet , quiet , shhhhhh .. shhhhh !!!!
No more banging on the table ;
No more squeals of laughter;
No more saying ' Teacher , he hit me.'


Quiet , quiet , shhhhh .. shhhhh !!!!
No more fuss;
No more buzz;
No more anything for now it's quiet .