the dress

i want a dress that would fit me like a glove , a dress to make me look chic and a dress to make me feel confident ... i have not worn a dress for many years ..

the last dress i had was put into my closet because i was too shy to wear one and all of a sudden, here i am once again ... the dress bug bit me and i found the right material to make one ..


this morning i spent half the day with my parents ...travelling all the way to puncak alam and mind you , once upon a time i did not know that this place even existed until we move to shah alam ... even then , and now i get chills when i hear puncak alam ... however my doubts were all cleared when i went there to oversee a school and the journey was breathtaking .. and then they say the rest was history as my tailor lives there ..


back to the dress .. its a beautiful black piece of material .. black for Xmas ? it's the colour for every season and as far as i know every girl needs a little black dress of their own ......


i kept telling myself that i will be brave this year and for the coming years to come and that i will make a dress for myself ... i am not backing out .. just can't cos i told my friend what and how it should look like ... nervous yes but i am waiting for it to be ready ....

so , with my head held up high , i am going to get into that dress of mine .

space

not the space as in outer space .. space as in .. hey i need space ... how is it with some people that they never need space ? everything has been mapped out for them and all they do is , it's OK actually and the next day when they wake up , they just fall into that space and it's OK ..


i mean why not everything has been thought of by someone else rather than yourself ... i mean don't they get to a point where they'd go .. 'hey , i need space so just back off '!!!.

don't they feel being pushed to the ground and it's just super fine .. i mean everything just goes on monotonously and not even a bump and they are OK with it ?

i used to wonder, and for me, if i am being pushed against the wall , i would just stop and say , 'now , hold on a minute , i need space , back off'. the gist is ,after saying how you need that space , some don't even bother to hear you .. and i wonder why .


so ,instead of being pushed against the wall , I'd just say , 'stop just right there ,you're not doing this to me'.

.. i bid you farewell ....

.. now it's time to say goodbye , to all of my one sweet potato class ..... with the trophy given out today at the eleventh hour to which i must say .. to the penduduk of paya jaras .. you guys sure knows how to test a driver's patience ... all was not too late .. i got back in time to see big smiles as i handed out the trophies and yes i will miss my students very much ....


as i sat down to list down the class list for next year , i can't help but to wonder how is next year going to be .. perhaps that all of us learned good lessons for this year and we have grown ... in one way or another .. maybe our students feel the same way with new schooling environment and new friends to keep up with ...


the feeling of loneliness creeps up to me as once again the school will be very quiet. for now everything is silent and we hope that, the silence would soon be replaced with new students and not to mention crying students .. our journey will begin soon .. a new beginning .. a new journey and a new path ...

all i can say is , my teachers and i have truly enjoyed our year with these students and we wish them all the best ..

trophy

today was one of the toughest days that i ever had and today i wished that i was invincible .... i was given 3 trophies to give to the 1st , 2nd and 3rd position students for doing well ... infact all of my students did well ... to me that is .. i think for the whole year i have tried my best to encourage them in whatever they do ... however to some i did not do what i was supposed to .. but in my heart i did ... well you cannot please everyone ....

i went and did the unthinkable .. i ordered two more trophies . the thing is no matter what that trophy has to be given to the right candidate even though you have two students who had the 1st position ... fair is fair ..


i admit that i was wrong in some ways or another even if i have given them each a present , i mean all of my students a gift , i still did not suppress the issue .. the issue is even though i went ahead to present them the gift , a trophy is still a trophy and it is to be given regardless of the gift ....

children are very special and to them when you give a gift , and if there is a trophy somewhere , you still have to give it to them ...


i learned a lesson today and i have found a solution to it and that is ... get the trophy ... give it to them and explain it later to my boss .. wink , wink ...

silence from the class

in a few days time , my students will be leaving me ... and for once i will hear nothing but silence ... hmmmm ... no more talking , laughter and tears ..... it has already started to seep into me .. like today only 12 turned up and by tomorrow most of them will not come ... i try to be brave for them .... i got each of them something small .. normally i do not get them any gifts but then again it's only once a year .....


they are the best bunch that i enjoy working with .. no, i am wrong actually i have enjoyed teaching them and every year i look forward to my new students .....
i have been trying to find the right words to say to them but it does not come .... i put it off , saying that i could always talk to them later but i am guessing again what does a bunch of kids want to hear ?


today some of my students went on a trip and you could just see that they were not their usual self .. maybe because i did not go along with them .. i don't know .. kids are like tightrope .. they become close to you and every awaken moment of their lives , when they get to school , it's you that they want to see the most .....you can say anything to them but at the end of they day , they look out for you ... i think that is what makes it so special being around children ....


so where do i go from here ? my hopes and prayers will always be with them .... wishing them all the best .. the best is yet to come ...

december

next month will be a yr .. of me being a principal ... someone asked me just the other day how did i do .... that's a tough question... well from what we have observed it was one heck of a roller coaster ride ....


it was fun , scary and funny all at the same time .. i found myself stuck in difficult situations and at times i could not even decide or i don't know if i made the right move ....

however there was a being up in heaven who loved me so much , that He gave me the courage to hang on and accept all of the challenges thrown in my way ..i would not say that we made everything 100 % right . we are learning still and now we have upgraded ourselves into a cruise ship ...

in January , we were all huddled up into a small rowing boat with no oars and we went in all directions ..... it was funny though ...

having the right support group made the days seem brighter, when were were just about to give up . with that support , we hung on and braved into the storm ...

so teachers , are we ready for another great year ahead ?

i know i am ....

saying this

earlier i wrote something with regards to exams , learning through play and the basics of early childhood education .. the post has been deleted .. i could not go on as i feel that i do not have the right .. to judge or comment on it further ....

for whatever i feel in my heart will be a battle within me until the day i die .. assuring myself that it can change .. the system can change and that change may take time ...


i am so sorry for the young minds that go through the changes that we make and if we do not correct it , it will be too late .... too late for anything ...


i still pray and hope for a change to come so that our children will be better equipped and well prepared for their future ..


i am so sorry ....