today .. again after so long

we woke early today and today being today was/is the day we started out to deliver our cookies .... so all the way went up and down the hill and finally we reached our destination ...

it was all in good fun when i know at the back of my mind, that we were having a gotong royong session in church .. to which they need people to go and help and there i was in the car delivering cookies .


but the angel told me not to worry .. they have a lot of help so sitting this one out will not make any difference to everyone ... okay guilt free now ..


we had so much fun .. talking to old friends and wishing them merry Christmas and all ..peck on the cheek off we went to the next house ....



the next house is another dear friend of ours and they had a little cute looking dog named Jojo .. oh , the previous house also has a dog named Dougie ... cute and the cuter .. we sat down for a chat .. not me and the dog of course !!!!!

after 10 mins we made our move to another house , they also had a dog .. a beagle .. so cute .... and its name .. butch .....

today has brought us much joy ... not only we delivered our cookies , we brought joy along to our old friends .. we wished that we could stay longer but we still have more cookie orders to fill in ....


and now at home , a batch has gone into the oven .... and definitely tomorrow more to make ...

clap for the LORD

today after my afternoon nap , i woke up to watch the telly and when i switched it on , i noticed that the color has lost it .. i mean lost it big time ... the actor in the show was in rainbow color . i was so sad because with Christmas on the way and everything is timing ...you know when you think that everything is almost in perfect order , your toaster goes bust or your telly or your oven .. it could be anything ....


the handy man of the house said not to worry , he will take a walk down to the shops and get more info for troubleshooting ..... my mum was like , 'aiya , Christmas next week and now the t.v.'


well it was one of those things .. handy man had an idea .. he went to korek for the booklet and lo and behold, he found out how to figure it out ... handy man switched off the telly for 10 mins and after 10 mins our telly was in tip top shape , color beautiful , the actors beautiful ... so what more could we ask for ?
in the end this is what i have to say ...'Let's give a clap to the Lord'

time to detox

well since i have been suffering from urinal infection and there is nothing else that i could do .. yes there is a solution ... get a letter from the doctor and make an appointment at the hospital and go for a few tests her and there ... might as as get those kidneys scanned too...


thing is i am not afraid to go . that was so last year and the year before that ...

so it all began with baby corns .. yup you heard right ..i am to boil those baby corns and drink .. its juice and discard the baby corns ..hm mm 2 days straight OK done ... so what's next ? apple juice .. blended green apples okay that i can do ..


then once upon a time , i came across an article about how and why do we detox our body ... fine ..reading on , i found out that when we detox our body , we get rid of all those unwanted toxins .. see our body is like our car and our body needs servicing too .. it's like you get rid of the black oil from your car and they replace it with a new one ...

forget the car, back to the story .. i found the perfect detoxing product for my body ... and its tea mixed with natural herbs from switzerland ...... now , hold on a minute .. I DON"T DRINK TEA ... so what will it be , Audra ... suffer in silence or drink the damn tea and detox your body ?



fine , okay ... i went to the pharmacy and got myself a trudtox kit ... it say at the back that i am allowed to detox 3 x a week ... ooh .. that's too much tea and shitting .. OK ,OK ,


i got the detoxing kit ... believe me my aim is not to loose weight here .. i just want to get rid of all the bad toxin in my body ..... oh by the way ...the detox works gently ... so i thought why not ... it cost me about RM 25.00 special promotion ..... for 5 tea bags ....



yesterday was my first tea bag in a long time ...... how did it taste ? like tea with herbs and i drank it all up ...


............ and today i went to the toilet ... it was like 5 times in a day, but not frequently ... i even went to the shops .. had a nice walk and all .. so far i feel nice and my stomach does not feel bloated ... i am smiling and hope for the best ....

what is in store for the coming year

for starters school will soon start let's say in 2 weeks time and yes once again , we are going to hear screams , kicks , shouting , snoring , crying and more crying ... we will be tired after the first day and i must remind my teachers . it will be round one again for us............. and we are looking forward to it .... yes and no ... in a good way !!!!


calls have been made for parents to come on over .... the lists goes on and on .. and it's my job to contact each transporter to confirm who is taking which and what transport ....


so far it has been a good year for us and i really do hope that 2011 would bring us loads of magical moments with out students ..

quit

quit .. nope i did not ..today my friend calls me up from school to inform me that one of the new teacher quit her job ... today was suppose to be her second day. to be very honest i would really like to have her on board however some issue came in between her work ....


all hope is not lost actually ,i hired here because of the way she carried herself throughout the interview and she spoke well .. responsible even though she did mention that she has a special needs child at home who requires attention from time to time .... we got that part , we understood .. but when it's crunch time , if we have to let go , we let go ..


i guess we win some and loose some .. i just want to wish her all the best , no hard feelings .. when you are ready our doors are always open ....

let go

today was quite interesting .. i went to the hairdressers . i told her .. that i would like to do re bonding for my hair .... so there it went my few hours but it was worth it .. i felt sleepy along the way but i managed to stay awake ..

so it has come to my attention that i should let go and enjoy myself with family and friends ... stay positive .. get a good detox programme for me , stay healthy and with all the love in the whole wide world , i am going to be happy just for me ..

cookies galore

maybe this is it .. this is the sign ... i should just pay close attention to what i do and take note of it ... for starters , yesterday we made a batch of cornflakes cookies . it is one of the most easiest cookie to make and even a 6 yr old child could do this .... i could make this cookie even in my sleep ....


we took less that 1/2 an hour to make a box of it .. at this point sorry la no picture to show !!! Santa has not read my list yet !!!! however .. mixing time is under 10 mins because u have to melt the butter and mix everything under slow fire . then put them into paper cups , bake for another 10 min and you are done .....


today no cookie baking because we girls need to make a trip to the saloon ...
well happy holidays ( a tad too late !!) but whatever the reason .... is ... let's enjoy while we can and before school starts !!!

underneath it all

i was feeling not so me for the past few days ... a lot has been on my mind and i don't even know as to why i bothered with all of those stuff in my head ... i mean here i am , i have seriously nothing to worry about but like i said , i was torn in two ... i did a lot of thinking and some personal issues cropped up ... i even went to the extent of thinking out loud maybe i need to see a shrink .... i don't know...




i have been thinking about things that used to not bother me and it has crept up silently from behind me and i was caught unaware of the whole thing .... i prayed and asked for a sign .. just one .... for now , everything seems to simmer down but i do not know when will the next one comes ... i am not waiting to find out ... so perhaps , i just should get on with what i have now , now counts and matters to me .

well i should just drop everything . get a new hairdo .. gosh my hair is so like .... i seriously need a new hairdo .... today i will just pop by to the saloon and say ...

re bonding satu kepala ... and to hell with everything .... i am not going to take shit ( oops !! ) sitting down ... the new me is coming soon .............. :)

so many and that one ...

i actually wanted to post in my blog for the past few days, however i was swamped with work and there were issues that i had to deal with ... some were easy and some were tough ....it came to the extent that i just wanted to throw my work all out of the window ....



these past few days has been a blur for me , i was aware in my mind's eye as to what i need to do , but everything was just thrown in my way and i felt like screaming ...or maybe putting a stop to every single thing in my life.. and just breakaway .....


it depends on how one looks at life and how one approaches it .. keep it simple , like my dad used to tell me all the time . maybe i need that one second change and then everything would get better .. what kind of change ? it could be many changes or just that one change in my everyday life..


where is this leading me to ? perhaps i just got to dig deeper in me to find the one answer that i am looking for .. perhaps i just not do anyting at all and let nature takes its course ....


i will never know if i don't find out .....

cookies , cream and everything nice ..

well it is that time of the year again where , my house smells of vanilla and butter cream it's as if you're in heaven .. i have ..no we have been baking non stop for the past week now , even after work , we'd get right down to baking ...


baking and cooking has been around in my household for the longest time .. and we find baking relaxing ... we forget everything ...

you know what ?

change of plans .. we have now decided to pipe rosettes with a dash of cherry for our cookies .... the best part is i get to pipe it !!!!

well , i hope this works out ...

make up and believe

i do not know how some individuals can make up stories and think of it as nothing .. it pisses me off to think that a person with such credibility and respect does it ... out goes my respect for these kind of individuals ..


i mean they not only say what they mean , they cook up stories which are not true and it is very upsetting however if we just avoid and ignore such tales ... then where do we stand ? this has to stop ... that is not all, they just go everywhere and cook up more stories ... in the end they not only hurt others but themselves too..

what do they achieve from all of this ? maybe they get power , show the weaker ones who is boss , boss people around , and make others fight because of it .


i hope those fakers out there start telling the truth by what you mean to say ..

i don't feel like blogging

i don't feel like blogging because i have nothing to say or talk about .. i feel sleepy and i need another break .... which is coming soon ...soon means soon ... then i have this feeling of ... i cannot find the word to it but i will carry on anyway and this is not making sense at all and since when does life makes any sense ?


then there is this feeling of , if i could just sleep in a hotel and have everyone serve me .... ok that is so not going to take place .

now , i have this nagging pain and throb over my shoulder blades ...what is it that makes me tick ... ok i think you better not read this post for i have to dash out again on a mission .. the mission is to send to two boys to their grandmas and after that more shopping minus the money ... heck .. since i do not feel like blogging today , i have already said too much ...

great december

not only did it rain cats and dogs today , i had a nice time in school .. not having fun , but had fun drawing and preparing charts for our classes ..

there were a few enquiries and some came over to make payments .. the day got better with the rain and it was cosy .. we were yawning away ...and there was no hantu .... a few days ago a few of my teachers were saying how they heard noises in the morning .. it could only mean one thing , i means sounds travel through anything right ?



like just the other day when i saw a shadow of a 5 year old boy . it appeared at the back of my friend's head .. i just told her .. 'hey tmk .. there is a boy behind you '...well all i can say is .. it's just your imagination ...

forgive

they said that in order to forgive is to forget .. how many of us can actually forget .. maybe some of us got hurt badly and we just could not find it in our hearts to forgive ..


how do we forgive ?


we could start by saying sorry and that is a start .. even to say sorry is so hard at times .. it's like a dent in your ego.. and then you feel that you have to admit it and everyone will then come know how weak you are ..

but aren't we all humans after all ?


sometimes , it's best not to say anything at all ...there is a Father in heaven who will always look down on us with love .. he forgives . are we willing to forgive ?

excited

i am excited regardless of what took place today .. today was just another day . i finally got my crystal beads and soon i will get to work on revamping my mum's rosary .. today i spend a good half hour removing the unwanted stuff especially the cappings for the rosary beads ..


however, the glass beads from the existing rosary will be recycled to make another rosary for me . they have lost their sparkle and i actually used my facial mask cream to wash and soak them for an hour .. believe me it worked ..


then i rinsed them in clear running water .. ( pipe water ) pat them dry a few times and .. ta....da .... they came out as shinning as ever ... and to those beads , i am using a pair of existing cross and center piece from Rome .... so everything will be recycled and made into another rosary .....


i am waiting to find the right time to get it done but i am taking my time because i want it to be special ...

why has it been so .....

i believe that i work very hard and so do most of us out there .. and most of the time we do not care about ourselves and we tend to put others before us , most of the time ... we sacrifice ourselves for others and only to be kicked in the butt in the end ..


so why do we do this ? is it because we want to get people to notice us and hand us big time achievement awards ? in our life we sacrifice for others .. at times we do it so often , it becomes like a part time job ... something that others expect of us..to do .


isn't it about time that we stopped doing that and just pay attention to ourselves for once ... just once .. i am sure we can figure out a way to make it right ..

just don't think .. act it out for us , only us ....

easier said than done , having being taught to care , share , give by our parents .. rules are rules , it is meant to be broken for a good cause ...

perhaps in the coming days i could just do thinngs the way i want to .. hmm

... ride a caterpillar with a saddle on it ?

have you ever tried riding a caterpillar with a saddle on it ? i have not tried it either .. imagine if i did , i would be the talk of the town ...

it sounds fun and it's sure to put a lot of smiles .... if i could , i would ride one today ...


but alas, this is something that you and i can only imagine ... what a sight !!!

there we are on that caterpillar and we have the whole universe to us and not a care in the world ....


how we would go bobbing up and down .. and never want to come down to earth .. i bet the children would love a ride on it too ..

so shall we get on a caterpillar with a saddle on it ?

thanksgiving

what is thanksgiving ? for me it's about being thankful for all that we have in a simple way .. we could be thankful for many things .... but i suppose being thankful for things within our reach is just about good enough too...


we don't celebrate thanksgiving in Malaysia but in America and Canada they do ...think of all the food laid on the table and not to forget the turkey ....


i have seen on tv , the family sits down to a meal , maybe they would say grace and tuck in and each family member will have to say what they are thankful for ... it's kinda nice ....

perhaps i might celebrate thanksgiving next year and for this year , happy thanksgiving everyone !!!!

be thankful for what we have ... amen

greed

.. greed consumes you whole and leave you hanging . greed .. makes you to want it all and it's all about never having enough ... greed is like the devil himself ....



greed is smart , it will hang you by the tail for wanting more ...greed makes a person so powerful ,so powerful that others bow down to your every need ... greed does not take no for an answer ..


it holds you to a tie that binds you and there is no escape .. the only escape is ..when greed sets you free and that is when it leave you empty inside .. everything else is gone ..


a man falls to his knees because of greed . it consumes and eat you whole .

thursday

i wonder what Thursday would bring me .. perhaps a name or a number .. it could be anything . i would prefer if Thursday would bring me good news , love news , married news , new born news . anything at all .. I'd wait for her sharing ...



Thursday has brought me a wonderful morning to start with .... nice smells coming from the kitchen ... birds are not chirpy this morning .. do you know why Thursday ?


perhaps like us Thursday does not have all of the answers ...one thing for sure Thursday could sure use a break and that is why we have Friday !!!

up , up and away WE went!!

well , it's not about superman who went up , up in the air to save the world it's more about the events that took place in my life ...


from the beginning , it was such a dream and then i felt that i was onto this fast train and then there was no holding back .. i remember if I'd get pass this ..


it was quite tough for me at first because i did not believe in myself and i thought that i could not pull it off . so much has happened and i am wondering right not how did i do it .. and it was not i alone that did it .. it was my team that did it ..


we pulled through rough seas and quiet down when the seas were calm ... and then , we reached a couple of high notes again and then it was calm again .. but seriously , i could not have done it without my team...



impossible , i would have said so ... silent prayers were said each time and it took a lot of patience to get where we are today .. i have truly enjoyed a joyous voyage .

angel

.. the angel of the Lord came down and Glory shone around .....



..the time has come, once again , the angel searches , finds high and low for where she could go ... should she follow the star as usual or should she just stay put with all of the other angels in heaven .....



it has been directed that each angel,take up at least one task per year ... for the coming Christmas .. they have to decide where they should dwell to earn a golden star point .. each golden star point enables them to spend a longer time in the Magical Chamber .. in that Magical Chamber an angel could wish anything that they asked for .. provided that they embark on a quest and the assignment that they undertake is completed and satisfied by the elders of the Magical Chamber .



it has been said so ... the longer an angel dwells and complete her assignments and tasks and the humans are satisfied , the angel gets to live permanently with the humans , once this is done , there is no turning back .....

Lola and Charlie

I was introduced to Lola and Charlie three days before the holidays started .. I felt so happy to meet Lola and Charlie .. the little boy who introduced me to them is also a cute boy ...


Charlie has a sister and her name is Lola .. she is 5 and this is what she would say to Charlie , 'Charlie , look I can do everything all on my own '.

Lola is a proud little girl and she can be quite annoying too .. One does not fail to see the love that she has for Charlie , and Charlie for her ... the adventures move further along when Lola and together with her imaginary friend causes a stir ...

However , in the end , it's Lola and Charlie together again ...

Maybe I should just get the CD , so that I could watch it all on my own ..

what is in for me today ..

i woke up at 5.30 am on the dot today .... it's just another day .. yesterday 's events are still on my mind ... thinking about anything else except for self ..


everything is pretty quiet this morning however engines are heard gunned up to get to work ... for those who try to beat the morning madness it's just another same old day and for us who usually gets a break between here .. well we're pretty lucky .


i can hear the birds chipping .. and it's time for those little birds to start work too .. the early bird catches the worm !! well they've got work to do too ..

i will be getting ......

i will be getting new drama queens or new drama princesses next year .. the fact is i know most of my new bunch and they are also familiar with me ... to tell you the truth , i can't wait for school to start .. just into the second day of my break , i went to work today ...

it is not that i do not trust any of my teachers , it's just the fact that i am so used to working .. i spent two of the semester break days resting .. and then i start to feel bored ... i complain ... my complains have fallen onto deaf ears ... no one hears me when i am bored .. on well ... fuff in a huff !!!!


i have to live with it or I'd just go up to the mountain top and scream .. my brain starts to pump , it tells me to get up and work .. but my body doesn't and then there is a little voice inside of me and saying , that i just have to live with it ..

this post is way out , it's suppose to about the kids that i will be getting but this is wrong . it has turned out to be about me AND MY BOREDOM !!!




duh !!!

finally before i go insane .. next year's 6 Grace would be challenging .. thanks a lot TMK for bursting my bubbles ..... my effervescentness has just gone out of the window ....

sad

the funny thing about being sad is , it eats you up if you don't snap out of it . i do not like to see others sad .. it's just too much to bear ..

not many would open up to tell you why they are sad ...kids cry when they are sad so what do we adults do when we are sad ?


for starters, we have a bunch of friends whom we keep at the corner , and these bunch of friends are the ones who try to cheer you up ...


so why do we feel sad ...

is sadness an emotion ? when you are sad , it can , most of the time lead you to cry ...and that just makes it worse ..

no matter how many clowns you send in to make you happy , you still feel the sadness ..


but i guess the sadness does go away with time and time heals ..

christmas tree

once again, the hot topic of our household... when are we going to put up the tree?


the big question is .. when is the best time ? i could say any day now would be the best day to put up the tree but on the other hand .. the tree would usually go up on that 1st of December ....


with my sister's children coming any day now, should we just get them to put up the tree ? why not right .. at least this year we don't have to move around so much with the tree .. i mean let the boys do it .. how hard can it be .... right ?


that was the plan last week . i was happy because we are going to let them decorate it for us this year ..


the plan has changed just 2 seconds ago ... the queen of the house has changed her plans and now demands that we do it instead .. why ?


okay , by tonight i will make her change her mind and just tell her that putting up the tree is an activity done by young and old ... so maybe just this year we get the chance to put it up with the boys and later in the night .... we'd open up our cookies and have a munchies or two .. perhaps we'll just gobble up everything !!!!

violet /viola

violet came in the most perfect hue .... soft , gentle and violet reminded me of the time when everything was so simple .. violet made me see things in a different way .. a unique way ....


violet had a temper with a smile that is so sweet but be aware .. violet will attack ..


i was given a choice of colours to paint my classroom .. it was violet , sunflower and mandarin orange .. i choose violet .. it's one of my favourite colour .. not forgetting green .in fact ,i like many colours .. the last time , my class was in blue , and then it went to yellow ..but this time i wanted a colour that would look most royal and violet was the perfect hue ....


as i gathered the tools , today .. i felt a sense of gladness .. everything was going on fine .. i did not flip nor did i mess up my class ..i added a few wall stickers here and there and i was done .. my class looks brighter and i even felt brighter ....

my spirit is up and .. i plan to keep it that way ..

what is finally up ....is ...

what is finally up is finally down .. okay .. my spirits were up since this morning and it got to a higher peak when i went window shopping today .. not only was the price was right ... or i could fit into that blouse , my pocket was totally kosong , so sad ..... but then again my pening went away after i saw the blouse , the skirt and the shoes and the bag aka as the arm candy ........



i was in heaven ... no , that's a tad too much .. seriously i don't shop that much but today was different .. because today i was with some friends and after lunch , we decided to kill some time by going window shopping ..... and think of all the calories that went down the drain after a hefty lunch ... well done !!!


we made a pact .. we decided to wait for pay day and attack those boutiques ..... i hope in time for Xmas ....

marriage..and love

i do not what is like being married to someone .. all i know and understand is , between the ages of ..let's say 25 right up to 30 . it's a must for every boy or girl to get married ... it's part of life ..


but , it does not work that Way .. just look at me ... when my sister got married at the age of 24 . confidently i told myself that when i reach the happening age of 24 , it will be my turn to find a soul mate and tie the knot .. sadly it not work for me that way .. after what .. say 14 years , i am still waiting for that moment to come and i am still single .. so who do i blame ?


do i blame everyone around me ? or just me ? .. like the girl from China .. said recently . i must marry myself and love myself before i can fall in love to marry ... .. how nice .. a good statement though .. so how many of us can stand up and say .. .. i must love myself ....



the reason i cannot love a person is because not only love is universal, love has to begin with me .. like Jesus love for us is universal .... a whole lot of love and his love for us is like a huge circle and no one can take that love away from us ...

so like today , i was reading an article about marriages and soul mate .. half of the article sounded good but three quarters into it ..... i left the page .. and you see this is my attitude always thinking that i know more .... i have a lot to learn about marriages and being a soul mate to that one person only .....

what am i going to t about it ....? i should say that i would begin to love myself first before i enter into the next phase ....

let it begin with me by saying this .. i am going to love myself first like it or not .....

selfishness .. through my eyes

the only people who are selfish are the fish monger who sells fish in the market !!!


that is not the point .. selfishness is a talent and you a whole amount of it .... including me and the fish monger in the market!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it is normal to be selfish .. is it an emotion or a habit formed even before we pop out from our mother's womb .... i am not making any sense of it .. why do we become selfish ?


maybe you got hurt along the way or your sister or brother was selfish towards you and it went on for awhile and then it was payback time.. how about if we payed it back with kindness ... just forget about being selfish ......


i don't understand .... people are taught differently .. unlike you or me .. it matters a lot to me because i was not brought up that way .. selfish in sharing a toy when i was a little girl .... yes but it goes away as you get older .. perhaps when you understand better , maturity enters in ....

so then ,what is the true art of selfishness ? i cannot answer it for you but what i can do is .. to reflect upon my life quietly and then only will i find or seek the answer ....

through selfishness comes great strides in self worth and as we move along and change it in us , we can become one .... with Jesus anything is possible ..

virtual money and it's faithfullness

well i am a sucker for it .. i am hooked but not in bad way .. you see , some friends and i have been playing online games in face book , and it got to the point of no return .. i should say that or not ..

at first it was just to pass my time ... alright, never mind just play the game for the sake of playing it .. then phase two ; it got to another level where we were buying , selling and buying and buying and selling all at the same time !!


this gets better .. we'd get to work and group up just so we could discuss our latest findings .. treasures , gifts , presents you name it ..then one sad day , that was the day i was so sad . i could not log into my farm , siap siap .. they helped out ....harvesting .. planting the works and if anyone of us were just too busy with work and assignments , we'd help out .. it was fun but i still could not log into my farm .... sad again ..



after about a week , i tried to get into my farm and i did it , i was like a kid who had a bag of treats .. what was then it's all in the game , has now become ,we're back in the game .. i felt that my life was complete.. no one understood us as to why we were so into this game not even our families .. all we knew was , go to work .. give the kids homework , teach ...do more work and then rush home to our farms .....


soon, we promoted ourselves to another game .. millionaire city ...i was a bit apprehensive towards this game but after some coaxing from my dua sekawan , we are now worth millions and the next best part is .. the money are all virtual but we still feel so sayang to waste our money to buy more property !!!!!

at a corner , I'd go , 'jeez , it's only a game how come'!see, you and me both know that but .... in all fairness to the game and to the gamers out there it's like waste not want not....

we cannot simply explain to you why , how , or how come ... oh , i say it like it is .... we are so into the game but we're not hooked on it .. we can stop anytime ....


and so the story goes , we are having a whale of a time till i go for a short break .. well , never fear , it will be taken care of I'd say ..... cheerio till then ..

next year

a friend of mine asked me today , what will next year be like and how it's going to be like . to tell you and her the truth , no one actually knows how it's going to be . but i have decided not to worry too much about it .


the most that i could think of is waking up on that very first day of school in 2011 and go with gusto . the thing to remember is it will not be easy , we will have new kids coming in and definitely they will wail... and not to mention new and anxious parents hawking outside the school and classrooms to see if their kids are okay .


for now let's just enjoy the moment .. we have just started with the school holidays , so let's take it one day at a time .

the dress

i want a dress that would fit me like a glove , a dress to make me look chic and a dress to make me feel confident ... i have not worn a dress for many years ..

the last dress i had was put into my closet because i was too shy to wear one and all of a sudden, here i am once again ... the dress bug bit me and i found the right material to make one ..


this morning i spent half the day with my parents ...travelling all the way to puncak alam and mind you , once upon a time i did not know that this place even existed until we move to shah alam ... even then , and now i get chills when i hear puncak alam ... however my doubts were all cleared when i went there to oversee a school and the journey was breathtaking .. and then they say the rest was history as my tailor lives there ..


back to the dress .. its a beautiful black piece of material .. black for Xmas ? it's the colour for every season and as far as i know every girl needs a little black dress of their own ......


i kept telling myself that i will be brave this year and for the coming years to come and that i will make a dress for myself ... i am not backing out .. just can't cos i told my friend what and how it should look like ... nervous yes but i am waiting for it to be ready ....

so , with my head held up high , i am going to get into that dress of mine .

space

not the space as in outer space .. space as in .. hey i need space ... how is it with some people that they never need space ? everything has been mapped out for them and all they do is , it's OK actually and the next day when they wake up , they just fall into that space and it's OK ..


i mean why not everything has been thought of by someone else rather than yourself ... i mean don't they get to a point where they'd go .. 'hey , i need space so just back off '!!!.

don't they feel being pushed to the ground and it's just super fine .. i mean everything just goes on monotonously and not even a bump and they are OK with it ?

i used to wonder, and for me, if i am being pushed against the wall , i would just stop and say , 'now , hold on a minute , i need space , back off'. the gist is ,after saying how you need that space , some don't even bother to hear you .. and i wonder why .


so ,instead of being pushed against the wall , I'd just say , 'stop just right there ,you're not doing this to me'.

.. i bid you farewell ....

.. now it's time to say goodbye , to all of my one sweet potato class ..... with the trophy given out today at the eleventh hour to which i must say .. to the penduduk of paya jaras .. you guys sure knows how to test a driver's patience ... all was not too late .. i got back in time to see big smiles as i handed out the trophies and yes i will miss my students very much ....


as i sat down to list down the class list for next year , i can't help but to wonder how is next year going to be .. perhaps that all of us learned good lessons for this year and we have grown ... in one way or another .. maybe our students feel the same way with new schooling environment and new friends to keep up with ...


the feeling of loneliness creeps up to me as once again the school will be very quiet. for now everything is silent and we hope that, the silence would soon be replaced with new students and not to mention crying students .. our journey will begin soon .. a new beginning .. a new journey and a new path ...

all i can say is , my teachers and i have truly enjoyed our year with these students and we wish them all the best ..

trophy

today was one of the toughest days that i ever had and today i wished that i was invincible .... i was given 3 trophies to give to the 1st , 2nd and 3rd position students for doing well ... infact all of my students did well ... to me that is .. i think for the whole year i have tried my best to encourage them in whatever they do ... however to some i did not do what i was supposed to .. but in my heart i did ... well you cannot please everyone ....

i went and did the unthinkable .. i ordered two more trophies . the thing is no matter what that trophy has to be given to the right candidate even though you have two students who had the 1st position ... fair is fair ..


i admit that i was wrong in some ways or another even if i have given them each a present , i mean all of my students a gift , i still did not suppress the issue .. the issue is even though i went ahead to present them the gift , a trophy is still a trophy and it is to be given regardless of the gift ....

children are very special and to them when you give a gift , and if there is a trophy somewhere , you still have to give it to them ...


i learned a lesson today and i have found a solution to it and that is ... get the trophy ... give it to them and explain it later to my boss .. wink , wink ...

silence from the class

in a few days time , my students will be leaving me ... and for once i will hear nothing but silence ... hmmmm ... no more talking , laughter and tears ..... it has already started to seep into me .. like today only 12 turned up and by tomorrow most of them will not come ... i try to be brave for them .... i got each of them something small .. normally i do not get them any gifts but then again it's only once a year .....


they are the best bunch that i enjoy working with .. no, i am wrong actually i have enjoyed teaching them and every year i look forward to my new students .....
i have been trying to find the right words to say to them but it does not come .... i put it off , saying that i could always talk to them later but i am guessing again what does a bunch of kids want to hear ?


today some of my students went on a trip and you could just see that they were not their usual self .. maybe because i did not go along with them .. i don't know .. kids are like tightrope .. they become close to you and every awaken moment of their lives , when they get to school , it's you that they want to see the most .....you can say anything to them but at the end of they day , they look out for you ... i think that is what makes it so special being around children ....


so where do i go from here ? my hopes and prayers will always be with them .... wishing them all the best .. the best is yet to come ...

december

next month will be a yr .. of me being a principal ... someone asked me just the other day how did i do .... that's a tough question... well from what we have observed it was one heck of a roller coaster ride ....


it was fun , scary and funny all at the same time .. i found myself stuck in difficult situations and at times i could not even decide or i don't know if i made the right move ....

however there was a being up in heaven who loved me so much , that He gave me the courage to hang on and accept all of the challenges thrown in my way ..i would not say that we made everything 100 % right . we are learning still and now we have upgraded ourselves into a cruise ship ...

in January , we were all huddled up into a small rowing boat with no oars and we went in all directions ..... it was funny though ...

having the right support group made the days seem brighter, when were were just about to give up . with that support , we hung on and braved into the storm ...

so teachers , are we ready for another great year ahead ?

i know i am ....

saying this

earlier i wrote something with regards to exams , learning through play and the basics of early childhood education .. the post has been deleted .. i could not go on as i feel that i do not have the right .. to judge or comment on it further ....

for whatever i feel in my heart will be a battle within me until the day i die .. assuring myself that it can change .. the system can change and that change may take time ...


i am so sorry for the young minds that go through the changes that we make and if we do not correct it , it will be too late .... too late for anything ...


i still pray and hope for a change to come so that our children will be better equipped and well prepared for their future ..


i am so sorry ....

the end

2 weeks, its the only time left for me to spend my time with my studnets and next month will be excatly a year of me becoming a principal .. so how did we do ?

all i can say is ,we did our best and next year would be better ...

i just want to thank all of my students for teaching me , not only did i teach them , i leared a thing or two from them as well and for that i am very thankful to all of them .. i bought each of them a little gift .... something simple and it has been along time since i gave them anything ....


but then i am wrong .. i gave them loads of love , hugs and scoldings too !!!! the scolding part goes hand in hand with the job ..so my studnets will be leaving me soon and here is a list of what i am to say now ;

adrianna -- the most sweetest girl who tries her best .
Chai shu Yen --- smart in her own way and never fail to help out .
Chong Ci Tian -- from the crying diva that she was , she is now a very confident
young lady!
Chong Wei Zhe-- adepts well into the envioronment like a chameleon !!
danish shah ---- as sharp as a pencil ....the next politician ..
lynus ---- minuses very well in math hence the name lynus minus!!
yasmin -- quiet queen with a good heart .
edlin --- witty as a hungry muching monkey munching on a banana !!
ong wen shuen --- knows when to show off her skills after 10 months !!
lai bei shuen -- a would be hairdresser in the near future aka sandra bullock !!
damea --- degil as a rock and she has come along way !!
hew bee ee -- the one that gets everything that she wants !!
lee ken shine ---- my miss lee ever so kind and soft spoken.
homer -- his grandpas name is homer , his dads name is homer and so is his name !!
nabil ---hmmm the one that i must constantly push ..
nur iman -- the good girl ..
nilly sofea -- my lady gaga is leaving me and there will be no more talking shhh!!
hadief farhan -- kaki bola of 6 grace ..



so where do i go from here ? well the yr is coming to an end .. its no the end for me but the beginning for me .... here we go another great year ahead ...

bye my studnets , all the best .. make your mark in the world ...

its what i like

i spent the entire day at bandar utama .. not only did i shop till i drop but i managed to give some smiles here and there .. you see we malaysians are the most caring lot and my dad used to say .. each time when you go out, try to at least smile at anyone who passes you by ..... most of the time i will give a nice smile to all those aunties and uncles .. you will be surprised ..

if you seen the movie pay it forward , you will know what i am talking about .. its not about showing others that you can do better than them , its mostly about you , yourself and only you ,making that littlest difference it that persons life .. the same as when you fall in love for the first time , you'd just go do anything for that one person .. i mean everything and you may even think later .. lying in bed , 'wow , i never knew that i could do that'.


nice feeling and not to mention , you hear kachhiingg !!! that goes into your personal bank account for a good deed done .... it could be anything actually ... if you can please one person a day .. good for you .. if you cant , dont be too hard on yourself , there is always tomorrow .. you can try again .. no harm ...


so are you ready to pay it forward and give it a shot ?

cakes

call it crazy but i have started baking and loving it .. made 2 cakes so far and it turned out pretty well .. thanks to you tube .... that is where i get my ideas .. its kind of a hobby and i am quite pleased with myself .. i can just see it now .... the headlines .. mountain of cake fell onto baker .... !!!!!!!!!!!!


i think everyone should at least take up one hobby each .. i mean you may just never know where it may lead you to ... trust me ,when i tell you this , when i bake , i forget my problems its the same when i do beading .. you just forget everything and you just get better and better ... you feel excited ...


maybe i might just go into business eh ? i mean , in the long run , i bake because i enjoy making good cakes .. lets face it .. if i were to order a cake i May not like the cake itself ... OK i tengah naikkan tocang i sendiri but facts are facts .. its either the cake tastes lousy or the cream on the cake is lousy so why not ... make it good on the inside as well on the outside ...


my mum was the excited one .. at first ahe was like ' okay you do la ' later it was , 'mum you also do , come i know how you feel you want to, come and do , we will share it out '. hmmm boleh la tahan tapi sayangnye saya tak de camera but i did save it into my phone and the best part i even managed to send the picture to my sister through mms ... and i have friends who said that i was so ketinggalan zaman ... not bad for the first mms ... puji tuhan .... amin ..

nice on the outside and not so part 2

people are like fruits and like some of those fruits it may not seem what it is ..like when we go to the store , we spend time choosing and picking out that one perfect fruit .. shinny skin , perfect shape ,colour , smell you name it ..it has to have all the right qualities ....


..... then when you rush home , you cut into one of those fruit ,you find that even though it was so good on the outside , instead you find that the inside of the fruit is not fresh ...... and that is when u go arrggggghhhh!!!!!!!!!!!


so why are people like fruits ? good question ... i do not really have all the right answers to that question , but a friend of mine will always tells me that God made them special , in their own way .


fruits are fruits ... they are meant to be eaten but we cannot eat each other can we ? okay , we are actually better than those fruits .. like a fruit , if it is rotten we just throw them away. but for us humans when we are rotten towards each other we can change ....

how many wants to admit that they are rotten out there ? okay let it begin with me when i say this , I AM ROTTEN to the core and i will change and i can change my attitude towards others .... now can you say that ?

lately and cranky

lately i have been very irritable towards others and this has come to no surprise at all... information which have been delivered , has passed through my memory bank but it does not stays there .... and to some of my friends , they find this rather amusing ... but life goes on for me ... well , i don't know what happen to me lately .


one minute i was soooooooo over the top busy and now i am still busy but i have room to breathe and then , it hit me again the blur bug ...information does not want to register into my brain ... however i try to make it look like opps!!! in all my blurriness and what ever that i do not know , i try my best and move along . nothing is kept in the heart ...



i am blessed with good friends along the way , with such friends the hurt does not hurt so much .. thank you girls its nice to feel appreciated

adam lambert

all was said and out came the advert in the newspapers and i was not one of the lucky ones who got the chance to see the concert however .. it must be pretty amazing with vocals like that ...



baju aside , the guy can sing and i don't care so much of what he does ... the guy can definitely sing and i would not stop to shake his hand in a heartbeat why i might even give him a big hug for being so brave about telling the truth and not hide away like you and me would do .....what you see is what you get .. why hide ...


Adam Lambert , thank you for your songs and thank you for taking and making the time for a colourful concert .

not myself

i was not myself for the past few weeks .. call it what you want .. i may have said or done the wrong thing and may have also hurt some along the way and for that i am truly very sorry for that ... i have been occupied and getting things done .. but none of the above allows me to escape and there is no excuse for what i said or did ..


i may have to now be on guard and think carefully before i speak however , this seems very difficult for me as i occasionally loose my cool ... for the right reasons and i promise not to . but promises are meant to be broken so i will try my best though .... some would say i am crazy and i listen to unwanted stuffs and i must now sieve through what i hear and take only the truth even if it means to struggle with the wrong decisions that i take or make. i have to live with it ...


a friend of mine would always say this to me , the past is the past .. i believe in what she says .... as for the whole world ,i cannot please everyone out there including myself but the one thing that i can do is,if i can please one person a day .. i would be over the moon

over

so now it has come to the stage where two major activities in my life has come to an end ... for now . next year it will be back .. with our feet aching, we have come to a very successful concert and everyone did thier best .. kids , teachers and all ... my biggest fear was the coupons ... i was so afraid of getting them mixed up with the wrong parents but thankfully enough , they did a good job .... no glitches so far and if there were on that day , i am happy to say that they managed to get it settled ..


once the show began every parent , grandparent in that hall got excited . it went on like clockwork .it was truly a nice day for me and the rest of us. food was more than enough and we thank god that everything went according to plan and we hope the coming activities would be a better one ... we are learning each day and all of us were quite happy ...


on a lighter note , they kids did thier thing , own thing and they had fun too ...

say , say say

say ,say , say what you want.........


i remember this song when i was in sekolah rendah .. but not anymore ..i was in year 6 .. we just moved into our new block ... it was one of my favourite songs ....

anyway , say ,say , say .. we seem to say many things and along the way . we even forget the things we said .. some were meant and some were just sayings .. and more sayings .... those sayings were just playful kinda sayings .... those sayings were gone ....

and now sayings has become said ... who said what .. most of the time, and we tend to take who said what seriously and said was used against us ..... when we only meant it as a joke or we might have just said .... it out of anger but we never meant it .......

so , with all those who have said and made more sayings .. stopping oneself from saying these sayings is good .


so what do we so after these sayings ? move along ... move along .. tomorrow is another brand new day ...

the big sneeze

here i am again blogging like forever and then there is no one who reads my blog .. don't ask why i even bother to try so hard when i know only tmk reads my blog .. actually fair is fair i have been reading but minimally ....



i woke up today sneezing and i went for class today and there were these two boys who were annoying me .. i mean it's like every week they do it .. and there i was , with a big headache .. i don't know how i managed the class today .. but when it ended , i ran down the stairs like a bat out of hell and that was not all i did .... i went plastic shopping , make up shopping and photostat shopping ...


even when i was getting the make up for my concerts the girls in the shop was like ...'wah , banyaknya ... bagus ke make up ni ?' .. 'bukan , ini untuk concert '.
'oh ..............



so now it's night and dark .... esok going for mass and then opening ceremony at snoghurt .. sugbang and perhaps the one million dollar statement .. i just might meet someone in snoghurt who snoggs ....

speech , pies and everything nice

so how talented are you ? i mean you get to be on stage , talking and making a speech is that a talent ? or would you say that some poeple get their talents because they are born with it ?

nevemind it makes no difference to me at all. as long as you have the talent why not go ahead and crack it up .. we 'd be enjoying by the side lines . yay !

and then there are those who have talents out there that makes us sick ..... so what happened ? maybe that someone just goes out all their way to proove to others that they are more talented that the whole universe put together and that is why they are so filled with giddyness and that, we ,down here seem so small to them .... or perhaps those talented in a certain wrong way should just come down from where ever they are ,give us a pat on the back and say , ' thanks for trying . For cryin out loud , you suck at your talent!!!!!!!! '



well , well , the bees and thier honey comb , sorry to dissapoint ya , with or without good talents , one way or another , we seem to gain our talents gracefully and with grace , we should definately bow out gracefully with talent ...


okay , i am not making any sense here but what the heck .....

topsy turvey

i wished that i could do a topsy turvey cake and cover it in fondant and much much more

yesterday a teacher was so sad over the phone because her grandma died .
i tried to calm her down and the poor girl was just too distraught . i did all i could do and asked her to stay calm and say a prayer for her grandma . i went to bed thinking about my friend ,


today was a roller coaster ride and even worse , i did not have a chance to sit at all .. my invoices are piling up , the teachers are tired and they have to fill in for another teacher who went home .. her mum was not well and any time soon the poor lady could just pass out .. my friend lives opposite our kindy ....


my assistant was having a headache and when she heard that the other teachers wanted to change the paper for the math exams , all hell broke loose .. in the end the questions remained the same .... i smiled to myself ....


again i hardly had time to sit , i wanted to do many things and i wished that i could just cut myself up into many pieces so that i could do more .... but then again .....


meetings after meetings ... and now i am at home .. i just wanna crash

Fever When I Hold YOu Tight

Fever .... You give me fever , fever when i hold you tight ....... you gimmie fever ...


Nope I do not have a fever but what I am facing right now is a whizzing , whoosh , whoosh kinda day .. It all began last week and it has dragged down till today and many more to come .... I sepnt two days sleeping .. no choice .. yes I felt burnt out and I did not prepare my homework and I just could not be bothered to read through my teachers reports .. I totally just forgot ...



Today was quite exciting ... I came home early to have a shower and only to whizz down again to Kota Damansara for a meeting .... and on the way I sempat lagi to make a quick stop in Bagus to get something .... and drove away .. I guess it's pretty normal and I kinda love it ..


When I got home , I felt a little relieved ... having said that , I sat down to do more work and I got down to business ... REPORTS was done in 15 minutes .. Changgih manggih ...


Exams are at the end of the month and I am pressuring my teachers to get everything done by Thursday ..... Yup I can hear them complaining right now ....


Well gotta go and rest ....

lembab

i was pretty lembab in school and my parents would often wonder how or what i would be like when i grew up . i never gave it much thought because i was just being lembab and me .. i remember when i was in school , i use to cry and my grandma would say it's because i was lemah semangat which means also lembab and being the youngest mestilah lembab .. okay la whatever .. lembab ke , sembab ke anything la.


then i got a little stronger but a bit lembab .... in secondary now wait a minute , i can't seem to remember my secondary years ... well , lembab again .. i studied but not hard enough , i could not care less . okay with form 5 and all , i did not give a hoot what i got for my SPM as the saying goes .......... okay will not get into the abbrevasion of SPM ....


then college no more lembab cos i had to get the bus like forever, okay graduated done .... the one person who taught me to get rid of my lembabness was my ex boss mrs tan .. 16 years ..... i had no time to be lembab working for her .. she kept me on my toes and now .......


being the principal of one of the kindy , i cannot see my trs lembab .. whose fault ? mrs tan !!!!!! she trained me to be like so ... and now i cannot stop .. i am surrounded by lembabness and i just have to live with it ..... as long as i am not lembab anymore who cares ...

cool

someone just said that i was cool and how do i do it ?.. it all started .... once upon a time and not so long ago and how come i can still stay cool even if someone rubbed me the wrong way .. and to this very day please do not ask me how i do it , i just don't know all i know is , it's a talent and not everyone is entitled to it !!!!!


shucks , that is so lame ... okay , i just don't know how come i can stay cool .. don't ask ..so what do i do with teachers who don't listen? well easy peasy and lemony sqeezy .. i just show my fangs ,dagger in the eyes and start tormenting them , even in their dreams ......


it shows on thier faces the next day .. oh , i know alright !!!!! it's not about the fangs that i have or don't have , it's more of like ... you know that you are responsible for what you have to do and you did not do it .. i get that part ... but on the other hand , we are all humans after all ...

and as for fangs and daggers , well it takes a magician to make them , me and him dissappear all together !!!!!!!!!!!!

and before i go .... i vant to suck your blood !!!
muaaaahhhhhhhhaaaaaaa !!!!!!!!!

Paradigms ? Anyone ?

We all know what is a Paradigm .. first let me say this , they are all perceptions about the way things are and the best part is ... they are all incorrect .. there ... see I have been telling over and over again ... and some just cannot remember or let me just say that they don't know what it means and refuse to accept .


I remember this now and clearly after ..... what 30 over years too late ? All hope is not lost .. I guess I made a mistake of thinking that I was darn ugly in appearance and the word ugly got stucked into my mind and that was how I lived .. I believed that everything I had and put on , no matter what I looked ugly .


Years later , a kind soul left a book lying on my aunt's floor and it was that book which told me how wrong I was about everything in my life . I read the book , 5 to 6 times and again and again , I would pick up that book just to make sure if I was on the right track ....


I seem to have improved over the years and I have become more confident .. Good .. and yes what I see is what I get.

Same thing goes for everything else in my life , when I face a difficult situations , it could be anything from the students in my class right down to my own life , I would always apply this one golden rule ; BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND !

It has helped me a lot .... and I wish that others would apply this to thier everyday lives not only to better themselves but to live a positive life ...

Killing Me Softly ...

Roberta Flack ..... " I heard he sang a good song , I heard he had a style...."


It is one of the most popular songs that I have come to know . It has got many people singing to this song and .. Lauren Hill came out with her version of this song . I must say I truly hated it .. she was going on with her ahh.. ! ahh .. ! I mean okay she is an icon and singing another icon's song and it sounded damaged ....

On a sadder note , I am so saddened by what I read in the newspapers lately .. I cannot even beging to belive it; brutal killings made so open and we just celebrated our Merdeka and not to mention Hari Raya .

Why ?



Why does it have to be like this ?

People take what they want and people throw what they want . It's just too much to bear . My heart goes out to the victim's families . I have no words to say and here I am blogging .. which mean that I have a lot to say ...

I just hope .. justice will be done and taken .. this has nothing to do with Roberta Flack's song Killing Me Softly .....

Amen ..

4 gig

i was supposed to get a pen drive and like i said tak jadi ... and yesterday , i wanted to do something pretty important so since today is still the holidays , we went to the curve . we walked all the way to cinema leisure .... since i knew they would have what i need .

before going , i pray to the lord , i told the lord that i only want the pendrive to be 2 gig and it must cost rm 28 .00 . i was not worried about the brand or anything ..

when we got there , the shop was about to open but we have to wait for a few minutes because the staff were cleaning and sweeping ... i happen to see another shop that was opened and went in ..

i asked the sales person if they had any pen drive .. ada . wah bagus .. i asked him only 3 questions ;

2 gig how much ?
4 gig how much ?
and please give me a crash course on how it wrks ....


another guy came to entertain me ;

he told me that they only have 4 gig and it cost only rm 28.00 ... yes my prayers has been answered ...got it took it home and today i learned how to save my file into my pendrive ..... good choice and good buy ..

Gravity

Gravity -- is a noun simply means, force of attraction of one object for another , esp, of objects to the earth;seriousness of importance , solemnity .


And before I forget the song Gravity has been playing on my mind lately .. and so does it also means that gravity is the force that keeps us connected to everyone around us , rooted to the ground and each other by some way ?

When there is no gravity , all and everything around us breaks loose and imagine if there was no gravity we would all be floating ... it's a nice thought though .. so for this raya, let us all feel the ground that we walk upon on , celebrate this joyous Raya feast with all of our muslin brothers and sisters .... stay safe wherever you are .

Stay rooted to the truth and we shall overcome all obstacles ..

my so called croc shoes ..

we decided to go to tesco today to get some things for the house and as usual i planned to get some things for myself ... when i got there , the pendrive that i wanted so much to buy cost a boomb so tak jadi .. decided to get some t- shirts at least two that also tak jadi .... todays shopping was pretty interesting because we met mandy our jiran in tesco ....


after buying all the stuff , we went for lunch only to meet mandy again and we went over to the kiosk that sells all these croc shoes .. mind you, i never owned a pair and one of my friends told me it stank .. for the love of all the rainbows in the whole wide world don't ask me why.. that was what she said ..

so mandy and me , we went to korek and cari here and there , sadly there was no size for me , be it 7 , 8 , or nine....... it was cheap rm 10 per pair .. then we spotted some croc mary janes .. rm 15 .. nice brown tappered with darker brown stripes and it even had a bow on top of it ... sigh .... no size .... too bad ...

okay i sambung my lunch .. my mum was asking if they had any good sizes left .... after lunch , my mum and me walked back to take one last look .. lo and behold , i found a pair of pink mary janes .. size 9 .... i was so over the moon because my uniform is pink and what better match .... paid rm 15 and , i put it on immediately in the car .....


by the way each time when u buy a pair of new shoes don't forget to gigit the shoes , if not it will gigit you .. ha this is one of my grandma's petua ... have been doing it ever since and true to her words , the shoes don't bite back ...


mandy , i'll be seeing you this evening .. i may show off my crocs !!!!

finally pendrive .. tomorrow

it has finally come to the day where esok i will go and get a pendrive for myself .. incase .. whichi ha ve been trying to get one for months and never did .. since i will go shopping in tesco with all the anti - anti and uncle - uncle .... cari la satu ... so is buying a pendrive like gossipping ? wait , okay it does not make sense to you or me ..


seriously so, i am going to get this pendrive and i know for a fact that like a gazillion kkindy kids all have one and me here so lambat in progress baru nak beli satu ....actually how to use also i dnt know la...

changing the subject .. to alisson's moyet 's all cried out ... has got me thinking has anyone here cried all out and got a handful of nothing ?

finally .. pendrive

missing ....them

i miss my kids a lot .... its no fun without hearing their voices .. well what to do .. i just have to wait till school reopens but i doubt that they will come ..since they will still be celebrating .. oh not to forget , the cookies that they will bring for me to eat and the trs , i am sure that they would wana do a jamuan .....


3 days of combined session .. i think canla .... we send the kids off early and i have to send a kid home too ... so what would happen is send the boy , head back to school and makan ....


i just miss them ...

.... at home

today is the 3rd day in a row that we have been making tarts for orders .. not too bad . we woke up early as early as 6 am to get ready so that part of the other day is for us to rest ..


later will be going over to my aunts place to deliver the cookies and then head to my cousin's place which is not too far as well.... and i must finish my reading .. blood of the fold .just a few more pages to go .... this book took me longer than i had expected .. the first one that i read was done within two weeks .. well i guess i had a lot on my mind and now since i am on leave might as well try to finish up what i can ...

so with the raya coming up soon enough .. maybe i just would eat ketupat and rendang hahahhh .. well another eating sessions with my cousins and all .

i await you

my family has been involved in the bec for the longest time that i can ever remember . not a day goes by that u don't see them not contributing for the community and because of this i too , when i was young followed them . then it got to a stage that our house was the HQ .. where all the happenings took place , be it for a meeting , youth meetings , meetings and gatherings you name it. till today my dad especially him ... still goes round for his duties .. never failed and he never let anyone down ,... even when he is sick , he will try to attend meetings ...

lately i have been thinking about attending some of these meetings .. not to be sibuk ,even i had the signs as well in a dream ... just the other day ,i told my mum i dreamt of the holy spirit ..we were in church and the holy spirit came upon me and i remeber .. light , water and fire .. it was more of a glow..


i asked my mum what could it mean but we just shrugged it of as it was just a dream.. and i might say that since i took on becoming the principal of my school , i felt a change in me . i felt that i grew confidently .. i can feel my confidence growing day by day ... less scared , less panicky and even when my boss asked me to carry out any duties , i seem to do well....


of course along the way there are ups and downs ... less of being fearful and i am game for anything .. so does this means that i am growing up .. hey i'm huge already and i can't grow anymore ...

and today a friend emailed me in a nice possible way .. he said that he noticed that i was busy buiding a garage for my farm , how about building god's house ? so i am thinking maybe just maybe my dream has something to do with serving god ....there i was thinking .. right , how hard can that be ... the best part was i told my dad .. i need the car because i have to attend a meeting and he said .. no he has to attend a meeting as well .... well then , we will just have to go together then ....


i await you ..
i am coming lord

it's going to be a stormy one lord ...

diamonds and pearls

sadly enough people , these are not the stones that can be found in my gall bladder ... went to the clinic today .. my friend opened her clinic just for me .. how nice .. but she had something to do .. anyway if there were diamonds and pearls in my bladder

i would definately ;

buy a house ,
get a new car,
get a kenwood mixer for my mum and me ,
get the best computer on offer,
air cond my new house ,
make a work room where we can bake ,
get the best wet and dry kitchen for the house ,
get a dog,


.... so doc cut me up !!!!!!!

thinking but not thinking on my feet

thinking and thinking and at times i do not know what i am thinking about hahahah .. makes me wonder and in my mind's eye i seem to go beyond thinking of thoughts that are irrevelant .... is that spelled correctly ?

ok never mind then .. i was thinking about the old folks that we last visited and yesterday i saw someone wearing a kechara t-shirt perhaps i could go help out and give out food .... but i just can't .


it's not that i do want to get involved but i remember , at the old folks , it was time to give out the goodie bags to the warga tua and i did not make it up to 5 poeple because i had tears in my eyes and it just kept coming .. i was crying and giving out the goodie bags and then i was thinking what kind of a monster would leave their dad or mum in the old folks ?



i get it if they can't look after their parents but what i don't get it is that there are some who send thier parents to the old folks because of property ... and thier children are able working adults ..

i mean i just don't get and that was why i cried .. i cannot go on .. it is still freash in my head ... but i do hope that the children of tomorrow will not do this ...

ponteng church

i woke up at 5 am today and i realised that something was very wrong with me . i was fine yesterday and today , i had the urge to urine .. wait , let me tell u why .... this is no ordinary urine .... nope thats a bit off .. never mind .. so i went to the ladies and after everything , came back to bed .

not even a minute and a half .. i went to the ladies again and this time i knew i had urinal infection .... its painful and if i do not get to a doctor immediately i could die ... no not die .. the pain would get worse , i will get a fever , maybe i feel like vomitting ....


but i was not worrried becaus i had supplies of ural and the antibiotics for it .. so i took a dose and i was in the toilet for an hour .. i did not go to church , afraid it might get worse .. cancelled my tuition class and now at home resting ..


the urge to urinate has subsided , and pain is minnimal ..... however i need to be careful.. a doctor once asked me how often i had sex .... i was shocked .. but when i googled today .. it said the same thing .. well .. all i can do is get well , drink loads of water .. by the buckets would be good , drink cranberry juice .. i was drinking it for awhile then i stopped .... so i thank god once again for making me sick during the raya break and by doing so , i can take a week to get well ...

cuti raya

on a lighter note i will be on leave for a week .. okay it's the best . i need rest , but i do not need a holiday . need i go the spa ? forget the spa , i just cannot imagine lying down and have some stranger massaging me .. no , no can do .. forget the spa ....


i almost forgot , i could eat a few chocolates which happens to be lying around in the fridge or i could eat my ikan satay and to hell with the whole wide world .... easier said than done ..

i am proud to say that i have already prepared my student's homework and i have nothing to do ... wrong .. i need to buy flowers for my ring .. no i am not getting married .. not even close .. its for my korean dance .. i can already imagine the headlines .. 'teacher makes it big in concert' yeah alright .. big time !!!


these are all stuff that i need to for my kids .. but is anyone doing anything for me ?seriously .. what about me .. never mind cuti raya or not ... i will be enjoying ketupat and rendag ............ selamat hari raya all ..

birthday everyday

yesterday was my birthday and so i am using lower case to post .. starting today that is .. i have no kuasa to even push down the shift button .. no more perfection it's what i will be doing ..

i wish that everyday was my birthday and so i have decided to have my birthday everyday . i felt the attention alright , i felt so special yesterday and i do not want it to end . after so long i cut my cake .. my own little cake .

today, is my birthday also .. i just wnat it to be and speaking of simple things i forgot to make a wish yesterday . is it too late to make one now ? but then again what can i wish for ?

god has helped and blessed my family and my frieends around me .. what more could a girl ask for !

age 38 , is just a number .. let's see my star sign said today , i would get what i have always wanted and yes i got a cake turn table ... hahha !!! hobby .. that aside , i am not much of a party girl , but i do know one thing , on my special day , i thank god for each day of my life .

perfect prefect

I just don't know this, but I have to say it here . I am a perfectionist .. there I said it .. I expect everyone to be on their toes and work fast . It does not happen that way unfortunately and for that, some may not want to work with me ... It has been so, for a long time and I guess , when I was working as a teacher , I was trained that way ..

The plus point is I get my work done and I will not let my anyone question me . So before they can ask , I have already completed a task . I try .. but I just cannot help it . I made some teachers upset and I expect them to work hard and aim high . Like I said sadly enough it does not work that way .

Why ?

I give 110% each time I am at work and I enjoy seeing my students and teachers succeed . Hard work always pays off .. now there is a but coming on right now . Some do not have the vision to succeed and the mission statement in their lives are so different from mine .

So what do I do ?

Ignore that fact that you don't have to work or know your stuff ?
Close one eye and just let it be ?
It's ok cos in the end you get nothing ? Which is right .

To hell with everyone and just bully everyone into working hard and harder ?


I just don't know .

The only thing I know is and can do is to keep my mouth shut . NOW , THAT I SIMPLY CANNOT DO !!!

9.41 as i saw it ...

It's 9.42 pm now , I am counting the hours .. excited nope .. it's just another simple day and it's my birthday tomorrow . The best part is, tomorrow will be the last day of school for our semester break ,hmmmm also in conjuction with the raya celebrations .. how cool can that be ?

Tomorrow, for breakfast , I will head on the the Kopitiam ,which is near to my school and get a nice breakfast for me and a friend . I guess you could say that we're gonna take the day slow and steady and when school reopens , it will be my firned's birthday .. yup the one who belanjaed me hahha .... then its my turn to belanja her .


38 .. I thank GOD for the 38 years of my life . It has not been so bad at all compared to what other people go through ... satisfied ? Yes and No, hahhha !! I guess one would never be happy with what we have .

Saturday is going to be a nice day . Will be attending a birthday party for a very cute baby and I will be leaving early to go to LMC to buy myself a cake turntable and a stainless steel scrapper for icing .. it's just a start .. we'll see .. maybe I need to get some flowers for a cake that I am going to bake for my cousin for Raya .. THinking of violet .. have not decided yet on the icing ...but it will be fun ....

half way there and then.....

Today as we got back from our daily market week , our neighbour from downstairs told us this , "Better go back to your country ,this is not your country." Okay , I thought someone must have gotten up from the wrong side of the bed. Anyway I found out what he meant ... okay from here I pretty much can guess that you know it too.

See when I was growing up , my teachers never once said any snide remarks to any of the students of my school and the friends that I went to school with , were so united . We were friends , played togehter and our parents never stopped us .


With time , we lost touch however we found each other again. What I am trying to say is , if we are to be 1 Malaysia it has to go all the way and not half way when everyone knows that the day for this 1 Malaysia is next month . All I can do is hope and pray that each party or whoever is involved will come forward, apologize and never do it again .


I pray that we have peace and harmony like what it used to be . I remember one time in the papers that tourits were so amazed by our country . We have so many ethnic groups , our colours are different but I am sure that the blood that flows in us are the same .

i dont' get it or i do ?

Today was not one of my best days for me . Bummer !! Right , I mean I always make sure that I have a good time in school today . I actually did have a good time , infact, I was having a whale of a good time .. till someone confronted me with something ..

Words were exchanged but I was not angry , I kept my cool and I expected that someone was far more understanding than I was . I have tolerated all I could. I don't show others what is bugging me and I try to do my best to please others and when I can't , I get stares and some may not agree with my decisions .


One thing I learned for sure is , when in school , forget what is in the house and when at home , forget what is in the school. I used to feel guilty when I first learned how to say NO .I could not concentrate on what I was doing and kept wondering if I made the right decision . But now I don't anymore. I can say NO and not feel guily . Now, is this because I am growing up ? Or is it because of the position that I am in now feels like second skin?


I do not know all of the answers but I am trying to understand human behaviour patterns ... One minutes they are okay and the next they are not.

So , I think I would just go and have some spring rolls and just forget about everything .

Lady Gagak Malaysia

THis cute thing happened today when I was in my tuition class . Today was a pretty slow day and I guess it's due to the fasting month and manybe the kids could not wake up ..

I had 2 boys today in class and I knew it was going to be a long day .. see I need the girls to come in as well so that I would not feel sleepy ... okay another lame excuse .So after half an hour,3 girls came . I was spared ..



One of the girls came in with a pair of aviator sunglasses with a white frame.She sellteld down and began her work .Very steadily , she put on her aviator sunglasses on and she looked like a superstar......



Casually I asked her , 'Hey, you macam superstar ah !!. "Tak la teacher , kakak saya kata saya ni macam Lady Gagak !!.

Well , that is a nice way of putting it .. Lady Gagak ...indeed .

Then , I told her this ,'Nadhira , bulan puasa kena tutup aurat tau , kan bulan puasa ".

This is what she told me , "Ala , teacher tok sah lah jadi uztazah boleh tak ?'.

I was just observing her and this little girl just wanted to be a fashionista and she just wnated to let her hair down . I admire her stand for it .

Tired

Lately I have been very tired .. it's pretty normal for a principal to go through tiredness. I think the reason is,being tired of other people's attitude towards life ,work you name it, I mean why ? I know that at times, I am tired of myself being pushed to a corner and there is nothing that I can do about it . But I can , I can stand up for what I truly beleive in and make that change .



We are worth more then this , This I mean, to do what you are set out to do or be. And along the wa,y comes this set of people who steamroll thier way to get what they want and usually they get it successfully . At times , I really feel low to a point ,I tell myself why should I even bother or try . When we do try it was not worth that shot and then someone turns around and tells you that you are worth just Rm 3 !!


So why bother , next step , take a stand , quit if you must but don't ever give up . Start over again with something new in mind , move forward and see where it leads you to.

Teacher , can I eat my bread now ?

It has been going on for some time , my student H knows when to push and test me .. he will choose the perfect timing to test me to the limits . Usually it's going home time or when I am so busy with a parent that he tries to test me .

I cannot help it , they need my attention and since I am the class teacher of course they have to ask me .H is quite special , he loves his food and at times you can find him liking his bowl and it's during that time , I would tell him this . 'Bo, kristang se jenti ne'. And he would go , 'Teacher, what did you just say?'. Hmmmmm in return I would ask him to go ask his mum .


He tests me each time when a teacher comes to my class to ask for something. He would talk and ask loudly and directly , to which I would tell himm to sit . But I kinda miss him , if he's not in class. But do I tell him that ? No.

I am so proud

Each time when the time comes for me to write cheques for my teachers , I flip up . I have spoilt more that 10 cheques.I feel so sad as I do really , really try and I still make mistakes .But my boss is understanding you see , She forgives and reminds me very gently to take my time and write . And for that I am grateful to her for being kind and understanding .


Today, as the priest lifted up the host in church , I prayed fervently and told the Lord to be my guide and guide my hand as I write those cheques . After dinner , I went into my room and got down to writing but before everything or anything else, I blessed myself and said quietly to God that , I want this to turn out right and with no mistakes .

.. I began and soon enough I was done . No mistakes, all is good.Now who says that God never listens to you ? He just did , listen to me . I am so thankful and tonight I will sleep peacefully .... Amen .

Puasa

The cutest thing about my students are they have been puasaing for the past four days ... they are so good . So during break time , they will wait outside the office area untill the rest of thier friends have finished eating . I admire their strength . And some would say that when they puasa they will get blessings in return .


Yesterday , I got the whole class to contribute their energy towards a huge Jalur Gemilang. It turned out beautiful and the four year old made palm prints of their own hand and with that , it turned out to be a very beautiful collage and when it was done , I could see the semangat Kemerdekaan already taking shape . Not only in thier art but also in their hearts .... as I was busy with my kids in class ..Pras came in...


Pras : Tr Audra , I don't know what to do with my V Horng la ..
Me : Why ?
Pras : You see ah , I told my muslim children to sit in the den because they puasa
and he insisted that he also puasa and he must sit out also . I kept telling
him , but he kept on crying and crying la ..

YOu know I really felt what Pras was going through but I just sat there and laughed , and Pras was like .... bengang . With me or V Horng I do not know ....


As far as I amconcerned , kids are kids , innocent but dangerous at the same time !!

Time To Change

Most people don't like any changes made in thier lives and I simply cannot blame them . A friend calls me up today and say that she is in the saloon and she, by tomorrow , will have a new new hairstyle and at the end of our conversation she tells me that it's time to change ..

I totally agree with her . Many of you who have come to know me over the years would definately notice that I have had the same hairstyle since I was in Form 1 yup a pony tail neatly tied up and pulled back.


I do feel really tired with it and to make matters worse God has given me two hair types to which at times I just feel like screaming but I can't because this is God's gift to me and I must say the only thing that can work for me is to go for rebonding .. I have done it a couple of times and the time it takes to rebond my whole head was just too much for me . However the good news is I am willing to go for it once again .. it's time for a change.


I remember reading somewhere that change comes when we allow it to and it must come from within us and say , truly say ,that we welcome this change .. good or bad .

Some of us spend many a days working and toiling and we forget ourselves so , today .. it's not too late , I want to make that change and it will begin with me and from within me . My call and my move no fuss ... just me and THAT change .I really have a good feeling about this and I need to test myself with this change and see how far I can go .

so very the malas and loads more to it

I have been sick and all I did was sleep and yes I prayed to the lord and told him that I only need to get sick on a Friday so that I do not have to take an mc and also I do not need to ask my teachers to take over my class for me.... it has been this way for the longest time .


So what is this malas that I am talking about ? I have a story book to complete and to this very day I have not finished reading it . Why ? Because , and so that if I were to read the book slowly then I could take my time to finish the book and in between, look out for other interesting hobbies for me to do .. That is multi tasking and it's an excuse to waste precious time..


Like this morning we just woke up and made a batch of cup cakes plus icing and now , for the coming weekend , we have decided to bake a cake and ... fondant icing will be the main topping ... hmmmm...

Then , just a few days ago , we took the kids for a trip , it went so well that I felt such joy .. joy oh joy .... and now what comes to my mind is .. BAGUS solution center and LMS in BRP .. baking , baking and baking .. now why am I suddenly into baking ?


Forget that , today and tonight I plan to sleep well and snore so please forgive me if I happen to snore loudly .. Tomorrow is a new day . Let's see what takes place ...

Reading Cheatin

Most of my kids hate to read .. the thing is they know and understands how the assignments goes but they just hate to read .. Why ? Because I am boring to them and also the books are boring .. hey I am never boring to my students , in fact , they love me to bits !!!!!!!!


Reading becomes bored to a child because the teacher does not cary out the lesson well and also it can be many things .. instead of blaming the teacher the whole time , kids also plays a role to this .. some of them comes from families who does not like to read , does not know how to read or some would say they have busy parents who are working 247 and that these parents have no time to read to them .


I remember when I was growing up , my mum would read to me and she would tell me stories and it got to a point that my sister and I not only thirst for reading , each year and every single day , we would beg our parents to buy us books to read .

My mum does not like me to read because ;

When I read I am in my own element ,
When I read I do not have to stop to drink , eat or pee.
When I read I do not have to have a daughter and mother conversations .
I only see books and not humans no matter how handsome the guy is !!!
When I read I forget everything .. that includes her and that is a no no !!


However , I do dream that some day I would own a little book store and you can find me in own little corner reading , reading and doing more reading ..

So what do I tell CCT ?

Well , tomorrow is another day so let's see if I can get her to read ......

zoo in lower case

my feet hurt , like anything and one of my teachers told me that her feet , it was to much .. away we went to the zoo and everyone was excited.we wanted to walk slowly and take everything in .... it was a cool and breezy day .. no rush .. just walk .


we saw the elephants , giraffes , tigers , bangaus , sea lion and the works. some of my students wanted to spend a night at the zoo .. zookazooo , one of them said and i said good luck to you then.


then they were hungry .. and we hurried ourselves over to mcdonalds and my how they chowed down their food .. hmmmm .... wait , put away the toys and finiah up your food! with that said and done , it was time to shriek and play and scream .. hey you boy get down! nope i did not say that and please do not pull her hair !!!!!!!!!!!


okay , will stop for now , not making sense at all ........

MIss You

I missed my kids today and thisis not the first time ... it's not something that I do.... not all the time and don't get me wrong . At times it's meetings ..one meeting after another and this happens because we have a lot to plan and discuss .

Like today was a nice day for me , I was happy that the school I visited for fx , the kids did wonderfully well. And not to mention thier smiles on thier faces when I gave them a sticker for doing good.

How I miss my cheerful lot. I will make it up to them tomorrow at the zoo.Hmmmm ... amazing and wonderful children.... This morning before I left , I told them to pray hard and ask GOD to hold back the rain .... they were quite dissappointed when I told them that , if it rains tomorrow , we might just have to cancel our zoo trip .... and as usual , NIlly said , " Teacher Audra , Nilly akan baca doa berhenti hujan'.

Now I do not know if there is such a doa but I know for one thing , GOD listens to HIS children ...

heyohadarieohthefarmerinthedell.....

'The Things / Rules That Would make me happy is........

These are some of the rules suggested by my class 6 Grace that would make me a very happy Pre School teacher;


follow teacher everywhere.
see all of the animals.
we can use our outside voice.
keep quiet ..... what ? inside voice at the zoo ?
bring a lot of medicine incase the tiger /lion bite us then we can put .
go to toilet.
hold hands ..yuck !!!!!
stay in line.


talk to the animals .
be nice to each other .
no pushing .
say please and thank you .
we take a splash in the bangau lake .
we smile when we take pictures.
don't stand to the other coloured ribbon children.
and....
find the zoo keeper incase the lion / tiger escapes!!!!!!!!!

i don't want to talk to you and i am keeping quiet !!

There is this cute little boy in my class and I am wondering if I should post his name ... so anyway this little boy is kinda special . Just ask him to smile and you will know what I mean . It's his love for sweets that makes his smile special... he is the most obedient kid in class. Once I was very angry with him and through his tears , he kept on repeating these words ;"Tr Audra , I will not make you angry , I will listenn to you , I will follow you ,please Tr Audra I will listen to you '.He goes on and on like a battered old radio and you have to stop him if not , he will go on and on again !!!!!!!!!!


Since we will be going to the zoo on Thursday,with so much semangat in me , I told the class that rules are rules and that they should try to finish up their work and then on Thursday we will all go to the zoo. My little friend had another idea and he wasted so much time talkin away , he forgot to do his work .


I told him that I was not going to talk to him and that made him cry minus the tears .He went on and on again how he would listen and follow me . The cutest part;'Tr Audra , I want you to talk to me , please tr talk to me.' I felt the love that kid had for me , I was so enjoying myself .. Therese walked in .. and tambah lagi and the poor kid could not tahan , so finally Therese said to him that if wants me to love him back , he had to give me a hug ..... he did give me a hug it was a sotong kinda hug ..............

So in all fairness to all of the students of 6 Grace , yes , you will all still go for the trip and that includes Lynus as well ........

Strength

Some say that strength comes from within you and it also comes when you least expect it to .For some strength is power and with that power , it leads to many other types of strength . It also depends on the individual the strength that he or she seeks .


A friend was down .. very down recently and the one thing that kept her going was the songs that she played over and over again ( songs of strength). She also said that ever since that she has been down , she forgot herself and also the strength that was in her . She never knew she had it.

It was through constant prayers and healing that she over came her depression and she is almost back to her oldself again. But according to her , she is not done yet. Forgiveness comes from within too. Forgive yourself first , others then move along .It was a difficult period for my friend as she was in and out of self denial and blame laid upon her by others and family members.


The thing to remember is there are people who loves you and you are being loved. From what I can see , my friend is a strong woman because she has friends like us who will not let her fall . To my friend , remember , stay happy , be around happy people , forge on and don't give up on the LORD for HE never gave up on you and us...

SEEK THE LORD AND YOU WILL BE RIVIVED ....

Zoo

The coming week will be a busy one for me as I have to coordinate the transport for the zoo trip -- only for my school , but all the same we each have something to do and we have to make sure everything goes right .... you name it , first aid box , water , biscuits and the works and now I am not so sure if I have to pay for Mc Donalds haha...



It's big time and once again , my kids ,6 Grace are really looking forward to it . Hmmmm..... they have been warned no super stunts or else .. they will get left behind !!!! Just kidding ..... As usual we have to drill the kids and tell them the rules . Rules are rules and some even have the cheek to ask if their siblings could come along ......... well NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

The first animal that my kids wanna go look at, will be the tigers .

Why ? Because ;

Harimau ada taring ,
Harimau liar ,
The harimau has sharp teeth and once it bites you , you will die !!!
Kalau nilly cakap banyak banyak tinggal aje dia dengan harimau tu !!!!!!!!!!!

The next animal ? Gajah .

Gajah besar tapi berak dia busuk tau hmm nanti jangan lupa tutup hidung !!!!!


Then miss smarty pants , 'teacher Audra if a lion escapes and we are there how ?

Chong Ci Tian : 'You stay there la !!!
Danish : 'We will call for help and find the zook keeper.


There will be alot of talk in the bus and some even will sleep ... whatever the case is , all I know is I'm gonna have a good time with my gang .... and please no roller shoes .. Thank you .

Stapler 101

I have noticed how noisy my class has become lately .. why ? Its because they were all born in the year of the monkey. Now that is one theory .. 10 to 1 or 1 to 10 , call it what you want . Or perhaps the other reason being is that their teacher (me)is a chatter box and I am in constant chatter from the time I enter into my class till I go home.


It has come to my attention that all of my students are attention seekers and some even have voiced out to me that I should just ignore the damn phone and just get on with business for the day .


Yesterday , nothing went wrong with yesterday cept that a young mother stepped into a hole and she was so angry with the whole school for not being careful . Apology given and we continued the day. Back to stapler 101 , I overheard Hadief saying this to NIlly;

Nilly as usual was in her chattering mood 247...

Hadief :Tak yah , la Nilly . Asyik dok cakap aje.
Nilly :Ala , kita nak bagitau Lai Bei Shuen something.
Hadief :Tak yah la , bising la karang stapler mulut baru tau !!!!!!

Even with Hadief saying that NIlly just giggles and chatters again. Poor Hadief marah hahaha .... after hearing the conversation .. I ended up laughing .... Can't help it .