Spring and so they say is here .

And so they say that spring is here ..what comes to my mind are colorful chicks . Why ? I guess I had a thing for chicks.They just look adorable. Anyway, I was thinking of closing my blog since I do not have the time to blog but as I looked at all of the posts that I posted , I just would not want it to go to waste . Besides, it was and will be my journey ..for me this time .I used to blog about children and how they effected me as a teacher but somehow in the long run, I no longer felt that was what I wanted to blog on ...perhaps I should just blog about other stuff or maybe blog about something that is very close to my heart ME ..now that is shellfish !!!! With me being in a new school, everything is coming up roses. I have begun a new journey an exciting one I must say . I am wonderfully embracing every spring flower that I can grasp. I am blessed and I am in a company of positive people .Even when there are ups and downs, I seem to manage quite well .I hope that whatever I may face, I will face it with courage and I know that tomorrow will be another new day for me .

But IF I Let YOu Go

Letting go is one of the hardest thing that anyone could ever do ..in life we must let go at some point ..be it a child , someone or even a loved one . It is never easy ..when we do not let go, we can't get on with life because the attachment is no longer there and sometimes it lingers. We feel insecure and we just want to hide away forever. But not so. Letting go has evolved ..over the years I suppose so, but letting go is still hard. It either make or break you. We have to break even. In between the borderline, chances of survival is there but slim. So one has to take that huge leap to survive but if you're at the end of it, it will eat you up whole all your life . In life we all have to let go even if we don't want to. To me letting go is pretty hard. You are so used to with life routine that when it is time to let go, you feel a void . Your mind's eye let you see the things that you don't want to, perhaps the truth and the truth hurts . Eventually, we let go.The heart feels uneasy but the mind says to let go and move on. When it finally hits you and you know deep down in your heart that you have to let go, say it with a prayer. 'I forgive you , I love you ,You were mine and I now I let you go , go in peace and be peace with yourself.' To my friends whom I let go along the way , may you find your way back on your own and I wish you all the best.

End Of The Deep

I remember some time ago, I may have blogged about this ... on a different tittle ..just the same a friend asked me, how I felt about my scars . Growing up, I used to hate it. I was full of anger and I did not know any better . I was young and during that period of growing up, I thought that IT was my time besides growing up, it was my time to get anything that I wanted. It was not so . I spent a lot of my time sulking and I wanted everyone to feel sorry for me . I did not know better than . One thing is for sure, the scars are a part of who I am . My identity . I was lucky enough . For some , it could have been worse . The next question that I got asked was, do I feel pretty. Feeling pretty on the inside counts.. not what is on the outside . Being and feeling positive made feel beautiful in my own skin. In fact, when I apply any make up onto my face, I'd tell myself that I look pretty. A smile breaks out and I feel great . One of the best advise that my boss could ever give us each day is 'WEAR YOUR BEST MAKEUP, THAT IS YOUR SMILE'. I kinda agree with him. No matter how you look, when you smile, it is the best !!! I get people asking me if any of my dates minded that I have scars on my face. Frankly speaking ,I don't know how they felt because I never met anyone who was bothered with my scars . As long as we are comfortable with each other , that was enough for me. All my life, I have had friends come and go. One thing is for sure , all of my friends have been very accepting towards me and they never bothered the way that I look . The only thing is, we remain friends till today . For that , I would like to wish everyone a very happy new year ..

The Fire ... Let it Burn Deep

I have been lagging as I have not been blogging lately .It's not that I don't want to,but I have been busy . I was away for 3 weeks due to a course and I would say, personally that before attending this course,I decided that I do not have any intention to pursue my studies any more . I mean, I am an adult so I just don't have to study anymore. I just want to relax and just work . However I was wrong once again. The LORD has shown me the way.When I attended the course, it was very intensive. We were made to stay at a 5 star hotel and all meals were provided FOC. We did not have to pay a single cent, as everything was provided by the Ministry Of Education. How lucky for us. The first week was good and I was really enjoying myself. Into the second week, I felt tired and I just could not wait to return home for the weekend and to which I learnt how to appreciate my parents even more because I missed them terribly. Into the third week,I was praying for a quick and easy exam and off I go home!!! It was during one of the lectures,that I realized that something was lacking in me. I started to re evaluate myself. I told myself that it was high time I continued my studies . I wanted to better myself and feel good about myself and it was also time to take up on a challenge , to challenge myself and to make that ONE change in my life . For me . I am doing it for me. No one else. So, now I have gotten myself into this huge big mess. Education is not a big mess, but I'd like to call it a mess and I would like to see how can I get myself out of this mess. I am in the midst of applying through some colleges and I am hoping for the best. I am not procrastinating. I am just striking it while the iron is HOT . The fire in my belly is strong and I thought that the fire in me had died . For now I am content with what I have achieved and I am happy . I like being surrounded by positive people and I hope that my journey will be a fruitful one .

Why I love it ...and intend to keep it up .. if I can

I woke up with a positive thought in my head .. in fact yesterday I had the positive thought. Since it's the holidays, I am feeling kinda lazy and that is not good. I started to think back when I managed to shed some pounds. Then,I began to realise that since I am not going anywhere,I would like to start paying attention to my figure . In my minds eye, I knew that I have to work 3 times harder to get into shape. However, due to a spill a long time ago, I was feeling a little worried . It's not that I can't do it .. the main problem is I suffer from lower back pain . So yesterday, I took baby steps to try out some new moves and with God's grace .. No pain today .. Good!! and today I did the same .. stretching here and there .. good ... it was all good as well . I am trying to think positively as I hit into the big 40 ... I promised my self and yes, promises are meant to be broken ...it will be a cold day in hell if I just gave up without a fight ...SHHH!!!!! this time I'm just going to go with some simple routine and see how it goes. There is this nice dress in the store which had my name on it .. so I have to try my darnest and I have a wedding to attend next year .. so preparation and perspire to the end who knows I might even snag a guy or two !!!!! So let the games begin to a wonderful 2012..

Seriously I say this Because ....

I had a tough time trying to sign into my blog today and the first thing that hit my mind was , 'Oh no, all of my posts have gone to blazers and back again.' Today, is kinda special for me . I have moved along and last night , we decided to put up the Christmas tree in our house. As usual, I am not so keen this year in celebrating Christmas . Now, I say this every year but when Christmas arrives, I am a sucker for it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like I have been saying, when you are at a certain age, you just want everything to pipe down. Maybe not, may be, it's because that I don't have children and being single, you just pipe down. But that a wrong attitude. I could visit orphanages, homes, just be around people. I could do that but I need a shove. Raise up your hands if you need shovin .... into the drain !!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, for a million time over, I still have not owned a camera I am taking my time!!!!!!( the camera has got nothing to do with this post) What is Christmas actually ? It's not about food , snow or presents but it's about the birth of Christ and spending time with loved ones . We come together to celebrate in a meaningful way , we give alms and offer up help to the needy . Today, I am going to feel good about celebrating Christmas . It's when I get past this month in faith and with faith, it's Christmas for me all the way . By the way, our lights went KAPUT!!! on us and we need to shop for some lights for the tree !!!

The Ship That Never Was Ahoy !!

What can I say for myself ? I was just being me and I thought that I made the right decision .I spent four days in an office and then I quit .. yup I quit !! For one, I was trying to convince myself that I could really do this as it so happened, I could not . So, where is that big huge hole , I think I might just go bury myself there !!!! I am not sad or ashamed of what happened because I am only human. To save myself from making a fool of myself further along into the future, I will just stick to the things that I know best and that is TEACHING !! Well, I need to put the spot lights on once again and take out my teaching cap. I was jobless for 4 days and in that 4 days, I had the chance to reflect upon past events .. why , how come , how , what and so on . In that 4 days, I ate , slept, baked cupcakes and finally I made some planning .. to take over the world once more !!!!! That is, to get a job pronto. Well as usual .. it did not take me long . Within 2 days I got a job. It was as simple as that . So, I have started working on familiar grounds. Kids were great , place looks sparkling clean, teachers great and everything is back to normal . To those of you who are and were disappointed with me , hey, it's okay. We muddle sometimes too. Life never goes according to plan . It makes us go through many winding roads before we can see clearly and I can certainly can see clearly now ,not only has the rain gone !!!!. I will steer away from any office buildings from now on except for the office which belongs to my principal !!!!!