i am back

it has been too long ..staying away from my blog . too long i'd say ...well then new year is in ..say today is the 26th day, a lot has happen and i take it with a smile ....still i am without a camera , aeons ago , i promised myself that i'll get one ...well ..sigh. now as i sigh, i am thinking of nicki minage ...i wonder why ...


maybe too much watching americal idol .. her pink hair strikes out the most ..i'd go on ..ok forget niki minage ..as i was saying ..new year has been good . so is work ..

O feet and MUshroom soup ,,

for the past few months , i was but myself because my dad was not well ..in fact we were not ourselves ...he was in the hospital and the next moment he was out ..he was okay , he could eat and then he can't ..

so, from that moment on , i sat quietly when ever i could ..i guess i just don't feel like talking ..the house has gotten pretty quiet after my dad got sick ... no laughter , jokes ..nothing ..when it was time to wake up , we would , time to eat , take a nap ..we did it .. but my dad was just too tired to speak to us . i guess he is in pain .

he feels disheartened because he is just so afraid to eat and swallow his food and that makes him cough ,.

i am here and there and everywhere , mum and me we try to do everything on our own. we have been running around quite a bit ,, i would like to think how God has guided me especially during this time , i don't know how i drove to University Hospital ..how i parked the car ..how i went to buy groceries for the day and everyday after that .

i just don't know where that strength came from ..for when i was weak , i was strong .. i really took over my dad's duties overnight . should i be proud of myself ? 

i really have more to learn from my dad and just the other day i was checking the car just to make sure everything was ok .....so now i am known as the mechanic lady !!!!!! it's just that , things that i have never done before , i am doing it now ...

i do hope my dad gets well , able to eat and at least smile ....

wonderment

in the wonderment of everything , i still think of you ,
i may not be the perfect one, 
but somehow we fit together,
in everything that i do, 
in the wonderment of me and you.




in the wonderment of everything, i don't think i have heard such a  word as this!!!!
it's the wonderment of you that makes me smile.




in the wonderment of everything, you seem to know,
silently in thought , your strength draws me closer,
it is everything that you do and say , makes me love you even more.




you are brave in wonderment and i quite like it,
it just goes to show that life goes on,
it shows that when we are one we are breakable...




.....but when we are together, we just get stronger .

not so as i thought ...

what was to follow, caught me by surprise . it had a long time coming, but i was not sure when and i just couldn't decide. you could say that the good LORD has been on my side ..


at first it was a difficult decision but on the whole i know deep own in my heart it was a decision made right ..i turned down the offer to UM for a number of reasons and i felt a huge relief .


somehow, i'd like to think that every decision that we make, there is a silver lining ..after this was done and everyone was happy , i did the next thing ..


that is to deactivate my face book account ..that was another step, to which i felt that i needed to be away ..i mean why deactivate when you can just leave it an go whenever you felt like logging in ..


but that was not for me because i felt that i was addicted to it and no matter how tired i was, i would log in each day . it was getting to be a bore and i felt that i was boring the life out of me ...






so then i decided that with out my face book , i feel free, i can now do other stuff ...like read , talk,listen to the radio, pray , laugh an whatever makes a sane person ....


i don't mind , who knows i may just reactivate my face book account one day but when i do not know for now i am faceless and not bookless ..

no lower cases and upper casses

so today as i sit here once again , and during the holidays with loads of planning to do , to which i am procrastinating ..not a good sign ...but believe me , i will thank myself later for this !




its not that i wish to procrastinate but certain things you have to . maybe i just need to feel the adrenaline rush and then ..it works ..i am an artist that is how creativity works ....




i have come to this now , where i am satisfied for the little things that i have achieved . yes , the continuity it there but this time its my pace and not on anyone's pace ..just mine .


having taken and making that one decision, has made me a better person. most of the time we hear what others tells us but then again its good to hear what your inner self tells you . it's good to hear that one voice telling you to decide and decide well .


i guess when it comes to this, i have full support from every area and that makes up for whole thing itself.


i just embrace life as it goes day by day an i am taken care of and everything will be okay . i just have to take it easy and all will end well ..


i just want to thank those who had my back over the years . it was not easy but they have made it possible for me to rise above it .


i thank those who have made me very happy .

Daughter

My parents has two daughters. Today I am going to share with you my journey which I made with my parents since the day that I was born . As far as I can remember , I am the youngest in my family .The average one.




My life as I remember it as a child was a fun one .I could say that I played a lot when I was growing up and for that I thank my parents for encouraging us to explore within our means and safe surroundings.




Fast forward 30 years, my sister is married with two grown up children and one very happy family . As for me, I decided to stay put with my parents and look out for them ... it has been a wonderful journey.As I grew older, I try to be a good daughter to my parents . I heed whatever advice they give to me and I try to make up for lost time by spending as much time as I can with them.




I do the normal daughter things with my parents. Going out or hanging out with friends is something that I do enjoy but nothing beats that one moment spending time with my parents . Back to the daughter things that I do is; lend a ear to them. For example, I never fail to ask them how was their day was even though, I know that most of the time, they are at home.


When I spend time with my parents, I usually look forward to the small little outings that we take together and one of them is, when we go out to get things for the house. To most of you, you may say that an outing like that is quite common and is no big deal. To them and me, it means a lot . 


It means to us, that we can just enjoy the day with just us be us. No pressure, just a simple day, an outing or and activity done together with my parents. It does not have to be an expensive outing, just being with them makes my day.




Now that my parents are older, they like to take life easy . With nothing to worry, they enjoy a game of cards together. Each time when I go off to work, my mum would bless me.When I arrive to work, after parking the car, the first thing I would do is to call them up to say that I have arrived safely.




Going back home , I would call them and tell them that I am on my way home. As I reach home and park the car, I'd honk and my dad would be at the window waving out to me . 


It's what we o every morning and we never get bored doing it ..the same routine over and over again and I will be doing it for many more years to come . I have enjoyed my childhood and for that I am thankful to my parents ..Thanks mum and dad .

Get to YOu

I would not have thought how I usually allow little things get to me .I used to think that I was quite unusual for my family, perhaps a little odd ? I don't know. By the time I hit pre-teen, it got worse. I kept so often to myself and the friends that I made in school, are the ones that I have kept in touch with till today .




School life was pretty alright for me , with friends here and there it was just okay. I remember at one point of my life , I just thought that I did not deserve any better and I kept myself away from so many things.


I just shut down. I only moved for ME. Maybe I was selfish then. I was not popular in school but I had friends who enjoyed my company .




I remember, I closed my mind to a lot of things and getting over them was not easy. I guess I prayed a lot. After that things got a little better for me and I found stability in whatever I wanted to do.


I wised up, still hanging on, I plodded along .My life is alright and I am not afraid like I used to be. I take one day at a time. 


Now, I rive to work, make sure I have a good day. Teach my students well. Stay happy and positive as much as I can .




Is there any room for improvement in my life ?


Yes , Yes and Yes .